Ophidiophobia -- E-I-E-I-O

UPDATE for  5/20: go to bottom to read:

So I was out mowing the lawn -- and it is a fantabulous beautiful day out and the sky is blue and the trees are bursting in joy and I was rounding the corner of the greenhouse and was happily assaulted by the dual fragrances of a crabapple tree in bloom and a lilac, when all of a sudden, there slithering in the grass.

Was. A. Snake.

Whooosh (gotta lotta whooshing going on, don't I?) I was suddenly and inexplicably filled with the most incredible fear and I started yelling.  YELLING out loud, freaking out ... unable to think clearly because I was SURE, POSITIVE the thing was climbing up the lawn mower to get me.

You would have thought it was an anaconda for all the carrying on I was doing.  The dogs were at attention ... what was going on?  I was screaming bloody murder over the sound of the lawnmower and I couldn't get away from the spot fast enough nor could I even figure out how to get off the lawnmower fast enough, because don't you understand, I associated the lawn mower with the snake and I had to disentangle myself from the entire mess and get in the house.

PRONTO.

It was a brown snake, not very big ... but it was all slithering and moving and OHMYGOD I can't stand snakes, I am not afraid of much, but snakes ... OHMYGOD ... and here's the thing, I think my fear is getting worse!  Because normally I see a snake and move on.  This time I was completely consumed (WHOOSH I TELL YA) by the clear knowledge that the snake was going to get me.

A little over the top?  Oh, yes.

The fear of snakes is referred to as ophidiophobia -- and here are the symptoms:

dry mouth (gosh I need a drink)

fear of death (ABSOLUTELY, not even sure the house is safe)

Having severe anxiety attacks (is that what that was?)

Breathlessness (well I am still breathing ...)

Feeling of sickness (entire body tingling with disgust?)

Experiencing a sense of extrication (does that also mean GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE?)

Nauseau (well for heaven's sake, we don't have to go overboard)

Losing mental balance (that implies there was a balance to begin with)

Excessive sweating (well no, that's gross)

Not being able to speak or think properly (Again, implies that was there to begin with)

Fast and irregular palpitation of the heart.  (PADDLES, STAT)

Is there a cure?

Hell yes.

You stay inside.  On a ladder.

Update:  I killed the snake.  Charlie went out there this morning and found it completely sliced in half with the head chopped off.  I couldn't actually go out and see it, so he took pictures of it.  I feel awful.  I am a snake murderer.