Lead us not into temptation

As I've mentioned before, this raw food cleanse has been very easy to follow and I am enjoying the recipes, the food, the feelings of aliveness and well-being and I definitely see it as a fairly permanent way of life.

But there are always temptations and you never know what type of martini is lurking around the corner ready to jump into your mouth.

Now let's get this straight -- I am NOT hankering for a martini and I am perfectly happy to be sitting here with my avocado pudding sprinkled with bananas (and now I know why you soak the dates ... because the skins are rather, umm, unsmooth?) but as each weekend approaches I feel the twinges of ... oh, it would be so nice to sit on the dock with a cocktail.  Or on Thursday night, when Peter and I normally go to the New London Inn for dinner, I feel a rather large twinge ... as well as a HUGE desire for there to be a raw food restaurant in the vicinity.  I mean, going out to eat is social, it's fun and it gets me out of the house and way from the kids who will drive me insane (which is understandable considering that in the past three weeks Peter and I have not gone out together, alone, at all.)  Food is such a thing.  It is so controlling.  How dare it decide whether or not I get my Thursday nights out?

Bah.

Last night we went out with friends for dinner -- and I did not have cocktails on the dock, but everyone else did.  I did not have cocktails at dinner, but everyone else did.  And I did not eat the appetizers they ordered ... but I did order myself a vegetarian pizza.  I mean, that's not raw, and while it is okay to go off the raw path, I don't think a pizza is every really copesetic.  And I woke up this morning not feeling light ... but heavy.  With the thoughts of NO MORE PIZZA running through my head.

It's just not as good as it used to be.

Today I have been printing out recipes left and right.  I made myself little appetizers with the dehydrated onion bread, with a slice of tomato, onion and avocado ... but then I was left with 3/4's of an avocado ... and all they do once open is go brown.  So I made chocolate pudding with the remaining avocado, but had to figure out measurements by winging it ... which was fine, but ignoring the soak dates command was wrong!  The lesson I learned today was that if you only use a small part of avocado you must have a plan B!

My 21 day cleanse will be up on Wednesday ... but I am not ready to give up everything.  I don't want to go back to cocktails daily -- and believe me, that is easy during the summer -- and I don't want to have a few cocktails and then find myself enjoying pizza.  I believe that can happen!  The devil's spirits will cause me to seek the heat of cooked food (which of course is devil-related, burning fires of hell and all).  Oh, you can find all sorts of craziness in the raw world -- but mostly it is inhabited by people who come up with fab recipes and share them with abandon!  Love it!

The hardest thing is that everything is work.  A few weekends ago I made watermelon juice and put it in a wine glass -- and had that sitting on the dock.  It was refreshing and yet, a pain because I had to make it, then clean the juicer.  (Not like unscrewing a bottle of vodka, you know?)

But my sister assures me that wine is raw.  So lead us not into temptation and pour me a glass of wine already.

Now here is a dilemma

Remember when I said that the forecast for the entire summer (well so it appeared) had the sun/rain/thundercloud icon?

Well, today is a perfect example of that.   It was hot and humid all day, and driving around in the Jeep with the top down was great.  I dropped the kids off at the lake around noon and then went grocery shopping.  I then returned home to drop off the groceries and do some more strawberries (the kids and I picked 15 pounds of them this morning and I am going to freeze them for smoothies) when the sky started to look funky.

Hmmmmmm.

I thought maybe I should wait.  You see, the Jeep is in the garage with the roof down.  You need two people to get it back up, and I'm all by my lonesome.  NOT mind you that I am in the least bit upset about it.  I feel as though the kids have been velcroed to me and the break is much needed, much appreciated.  But I do feel trapped!

And, I wonder, CAN I put the top up by myself?  I thought I would let the thunderstorm/major rain pass by, but it looks like it is settling in as opposed to moving on quickly.  Which is no big deal, there is nowhere I HAVE to be ... except when you expect to be somewhere and then can't -- well then it just becomes a dilemma because.  That's all I am saying.

My plans have been hijacked by the weather!   And, well, I don't really like to be told what to do by anyone or any thing.

I know what you're thinking ... you're thinking I'm going to try to do the top on my own, aren't you?

I'll let you know how it works out!  

Oh wait.  It seems to be abating.  I think.  It is definitely less  .... nope, another clunk of thunder.  Obviously it's not that close or I'd have the computer off -- but still, I don't want to drive into a big slash of lightening.  That might hurt.

Okay, so it is about 20 minutes later and it DEFINITELY seems to be stopping.  Maddie called from the lake and said the storm passed by and it is sunny there.  I still feel trapped like a rat, but I'm trying to deal with it.

No, I didn't go try to put the top up -- I'd rather have it get sunny and keep it down!  Stupid weather.

I guess I'll go finish the strawberries now ... it's not like I don't have things to do.

Brought to you by the Rain's a Pain, it will DRIVE YOU INSANE if you own a Jeep society.

Note to self:

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, ever, EVER eat two chocolate goji treats in one day.  I was up all night -- and with that caffeine-type buzz of OHMYGAWD am I EVER going to sleep?

They are clearly only to be ingested first thing in the morning so that you can have the whole livelong day to run off all the bliss, energy and vitality.

Just so you know.

I'm a rawdist

My new spiral slicer came in today ... and what luck!  I had a marinara recipe from a raw food seminar I attended last night and all the ingredients.  And this is most unusual, because I am finding that the greatest challenge with eating raw is eating the food within the very small window it is edible!  I had to throw away a browned avocado today ... though I trimmed the edges and put that on a piece of dehydrated onion bread with a slice of tomato, onion and some drizzled olive oil, finished off with a dab of celtic salt.

YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY.

But now I am just absolutely loving every bite of my zucchini pasta and marinara "spaghetti," that tastes very much like the real thing -- but here is the irony.  I don't much care for REAL spaghetti, but this stuff is making me swoon.  I threw in some big chunks of yellow pepper and it is SO DELISH.

So it is day ... hmmm, let me go check.  Last night my friend and co-rawdist, Linda (my new word, as in we're not going nude and being nudists, but we're going raw and therefore being rawdists) asked me what day I was on of the 21-day cleanse -- and I didn't know!  I did know when it ended because I checked awhile ago to see if it conflicted with the 4th of July weekend -- and it did not!   So I just counted and I am on day 14 of my 21 day cleanse -- but isn't it so cool that I don't know?  That I am not counting the days, seconds and hours to the end of my torturous cleanse -- because it's not torturous!  It is quite enjoyable and I feel so good that I am not in the least bit worried about the big day when I can eat other food, because I don't really care.

Oh wow.  I just ate a chocolate goji treat -- which I picked up last night.  Oh YUMMY YUMMY YUM.   A beautiful combination of goji berries (which is a superfood full of antioxidants and minerals as well as 18 amino acids, raw cacao powder, which is a superb anti-oxidant and is high in magnesium as well as naturally occuring chemicals related to love and bliss (Gawd you are looking so cute right now ... I love how that outfit is clinging to your ...) and Maca Root -- which my sister and I put into our green juice yesterday and were NOT happy, as it smelled bad, clumped in the juice and kind of tasted bad too.  

But mixed with this stuff, I don't notice it.  AND its properties help activate energy, vitality and libido (I was wondering if maybe you'd like to slip off that lovely outfit you are wearing .... ummmm, that's right, oh yes, that is perfect, now come on over here, oh, yes ... yes!  Yes! YEs! YESSSSSSSS!)

What was I saying?  Oh, that's right, I quickly remembered because maca root also promotes healthy memory function and helps uplift my mood.

I think I'm going to have another.  I don't know what type of cruel universe only puts SIX small little balls of bliss on a bag.    Hmmmm, now that I've eaten two, I should read the bag and see if it SAFE to eat two at once.  It does say a delightful treat for special occasions.

I wonder what I paid for them?

The Summer of Love

I don't know about that title, but it worked with this really cool picture that Maddie took at the beach last week.  She is very creative and has a good eye for photography.  This is totally something I would do -- and yet she had the idea first!  It made me realize I spend so much time doing self-portraits these days that I don't take many other pictures.  Which kind of makes me think that the whole purpose of the self-portrait project might be skewing my intent a bit.  I mean sure, I love to look at pictures of myself (who wouldn't?!!!) but the gallery of my photo album is just one shot after another of me, interspersed with pictures that MADDIE has taken of cool things.  I would share more of them, but she had a fit about this one.  She personally feels that once this hits the Internet, it will get scooped up and used, with no credit to her.  I don't know about that, but she is also a lot like me in terms of knowing that you excel at what you do!  (No, we don't stare at ourselves in mirrors all day, that would be vain.)

Here is a picture I took the other day.  I think the Love picture might be better (shhh, don't tell Maddie, she'll let it go to her head).  I hate how you look at something and see the perfect picture, but when you take it, it doesn't come out as it should.  This is an example of that.  I couldn't figure out how to frame it properly without the tree branch -- and I am still a bit of a purist when it comes to photography and do not believe that Photoshop is the answer to everything.  Every once in awhile I will alter a self-portrait of mine -- and then later think you know, what is the purpose of that?   I am not taking self-portraits so much as an art form as a catalog of a year-in-the-life ... of me!  So it seems ridiculous that I randomly lose lines on my face in the middle of April due to a cool tool!

                               

Here is another picture that Maddie explained to me would have had much better composition if I had included the roof of the building on the left.  I explained that I was trying to portray the view I had -- which was out the window, therefore I wanted it to be framed by the window.  I don't think she agreed. In truth, I think the building to the left takes away from my actual focus -- which is the further building, the Jeep and the tree-lined road.  This one could almost be cropped so that the roof of the building is gone.  Let's try that.

 So what is the verdict?  It is not hugely different but it takes off the sun glare (which I kind of liked) and the top of the window is now gone (again, which I liked).  I do spend a lot of time cropping pictures I must admit, and I think I'd end up liking the first one best because to me the sun glare balanced off the sun glaring on the road.  I think it is interesting that Maddie and I have such different opinions on this.  It will be fun to have her open up my eyes more with photography ... so instead of the summer of love, how about the summer of photography?

Because the love thing ... there's not so much of it in the house right now.  We are on Day Two of summer vacation with both of them home, and I am a wreck.  Patience level sub-zero and dropping, I'm telling you.  They fight constantly, and if they're not fighting and swearing (which is really PISSING ME OFF) then they are good old pals and laughing over stupid things and still driving me nuts anyway.  Now, it's not helping that the weather is a constant, dull and drab gray monotone of boring, maybe it's going to rain, oh wait, is it going to be sunny?  Nope, now it is going to rain, oh, thunderbang, ooops, I see the sun, nope, wait, that wasn't the sun that was some orb in the sky cloaked in clouds.

No!  I am not in a bad mood, I am just in that wrinkle of time where I have lost my life and its comfortable pattern and I have to reinvent the days -- but only this time there are two teenagers staring up at me like little birds in the nest, chirping WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO TODAY?

And the thing is, my motherly bird urge is to give them both a good kick and then peer over the edge and watch them fall.  Splat.

No, I am not seeing a therapist.  Why do you ask?

Hmmm ... I had pizza for dinner the past two days in a row, which of course does not qualify as raw food.  Today I plan on being 100 percent raw.  I wonder if my mood will change.  I wonder if the dead pizza food has made me a bad mother bird.  (I am chirping I DON'T CARE I DON'T CARE right now).

Yeah ... the summer of love.

Let us pray.

It's a Jeep thing

Maddie and I drove over to visit Tomasen and Emma (and then later my parents) and we scoured the skies looking for telltale rain clouds.

"What do you think Cloud Seeker?" I asked Maddie.

She replied that we couldn't take the top down ... yet.  And it was cold out -- not even mid-60's -- so that was fine.   We stopped for gas and took the top down there (much to Maddie's chagrin, because she would prefer to go deep into the woods and do it without anyone to witness our antics) but truly, taking it down is no big deal.

We all four piled into the Jeep and headed for the coast -- our hair whipping in the sunlit wind, Maddie in the back, constantly scouting for clouds.  We then did the strip of Hampton Beach with the stereo blaring, cruising along the boardwalk ... being "those people."  I commented to Tomasen that I couldn't believe I was "being those people," and she just said I must embrace it.  And so I did.

As we extended our carbon footprint for the day beyond reasonable and customary use -- we did enjoy ourselves for every single minute!  We went beyond the piece of beach we were going to stop at just to continue driving.  It really is TOO MUCH FUN!

Then we went to pick up my mother, and I can't say for sure how bad it is, since I was in the front driving, but we had three people in the back and two in the front -- hair whipping all around -- Cloud Seeker pointing out big black clouds in the sky.  Like I said, TOO MUCH FUN!

Later, after dinner with my parents, we proceeded to put the top back up because it was cold at 9:30 p.m. -- and even I was a little apprehensive about an hour-and-a-half drive on the highway with no top.  But man, that thing is a pain in the butt to put up.  We struggled with the back window, the zipper wasn't right, then it was hard to zip, then these two plastic parts kept falling off.  SO FRUSTRATING.  Since we didn't buy it at a Jeep dealership, no one knew how to show us what to do.  I said I was headed straight to one today for a demonstration.

But then I got smart and found a video online showing how to do it.  It's really only a few simple things we didn't do right -- but the man said "if you do latch the front first, it will be very difficult if not impossible to finish up the job."  Well, he's got that right!

So now I am anxious to go out and try it again!  Oh -- and last night, while Maddie fought sleep, I couldn't get enough of the full moon in the sky.  And my first thought?  "Should have kept the top down!"

This really is the BESTEST vehicle in the whole wide world!

  

BaBOOOOOOOOOOOOM

I just checked out the extended forecast for these here parts and it reads like a joke.  Every single day as far as the eye can see is the same picture -- of a cloud with a thunderbolt through it, raindrops falling down and some sun.  There is between a 30 and 60 percent chance of rain EVERY SINGLE DAY through the end of June.

Are you kidding me?  What did I do to the universe?  I get a Jeep and this is what I get?

The top has been on all weekend, since it started doing the rain game starting on Saturday.  That means I had roughly two days to enjoy the wind through my hair.  So this morning despite the fact that the sky wasn't exactly promising, Maddie and I figured out how to get the top down and off we went.  

The sky was just darn ominous looking and Maddie kept pointing it out.   Just before turning onto the highway I realized how silly it was and pulled over so we could put the top back on.  DAMN IT!  And, since it was only the second time it's been done, of course it took us forever to figure out.   I said maybe we didn't have to bother zipping the windows on -- that maybe the rain would pass ... and it was after Maddie insisted that we put them on and I was zipping one up when this big THUNDER BABOOOOOOOOOM comes from the sky and makes us jump.  We then pulled onto the highway and proceeded to drive into a rainstorm that was insane.  Wipers were on full bore, the road was a swimming pool ... and neither of us felt confident that we had put the top on properly because it sounded noiser than usual.  Which isn't really comparing apples to apples because the last time we'd driven in it rain wasn't banging on it (it sounds like you're in a tent) and thunder wasn't ricocheting across the land ... but you know, that uncomfortable, gee, I hope the top doesn't fly off feeling one gets while driving?

Oh, that doesn't happen to everyone?

Well, then Maddie wanted to know if it was even safe to drive in a thunderstorm in a Jeep.  I started to scan the road for any other Jeepers -- wondering if it WAS safe to be in basically a tent in the middle of armageddon.  Fortunately the sky ahead was blue and we drove out of it somewhat unscathed.

It's really ticking me off.  And if I wasn't in such a darn good mood from eating high energy foods, well then, I'd be in a bad one!

So there.

Raw baby Raw

It is day six of my easing in to the raw revolution and I have to say, it really fits.  The food is sooooo delicious and while I am a little overwhelmed at all the ingredients and tools one needs to prepare a simple meal, I am starting to get a handle on it.

These past days have been simple.  I have been drinking my green lemonade -- which is just beyond delicious.  It is a head of romaine lettuce, a bunch of kale, two apples, one lemon and a piece of ginger.  Run the items through the juicer and this green nectar of life is there for the drinking.  I enjoy every lip-smacking sip.  Thoroughly.

After I drink the juice I am supposed to be eating fruit for "breakfast," though I put it in quotes because I am finding my own times that are not really traditional.  I have hiked before juicing and I have juiced before hiking ... I am not really sure what the perfect fit is yet.  If I don't juice first then I have some fruit, but after I've had the juice I no longer have any appetite for anything.  I am sated.

What I especially  like about the whole thing is that the focus is NOT on food!  It's a simple here are the foods you are allowed to eat and the sky's the limit when it comes to preparing them.  To me the focus is on feeling good.  I actually feel my body buzzing ... I was reading about the various frequencies that foods have and since I have been ingesting only high-frequency foods, I am telling you, I can feel it.  I have all but given up sleep!  I have never needed a ton -- but now I am finding that the wee hours, which have always been my favorite, are now available to me feeling alive and awake.  I kind of like it.  I have been getting so much reading done.

Peter has also granted me the freedom to do this without trying to incorporate the whole family.  Which basically means he comes home starving and the smell of pizza wafts through the house!  I am not concerned though -- I will get them all on board -- it's just a matter of time.  Right now I am just eating the bare bones of fruits and veggies.  My salads are delicious but not terribly inspired and I am not even bothering with smoothies, but instead just noshing on berries and the occasional banana.   My protein is in the form of sprouts, avocados and nuts in my salads, but I am definitely not eating enough to sustain everyone else at this point.  I think my body is just adjusting and it is perfectly happy having that subtle hunger feeling.  It's not painful, it's almost a reminder of you know, you could eat if you want to.  But nah, I'm good.  I can feel my taste buds changing and now some strawberries are literally almost too sweet!  It's pretty wild.

It's pretty cool.

Another interesting thing I've found is that if I stop eating and drinking the power juice, I can chill out.  I almost become too consumed with energy and creativity and my mind is racing and I am filled with such positive energy, it's kind of crazy.  I mean, I will just sit around with a big smile on my face.   I am learning to listen to my body.  To ask it, are you hungry and if so, what do you want?  Strawberries?  Nah.  A banana.  No.  A carrot?  Yeah!    There are also some basic rules to follow as far as not combining foods, and I am very on board with this.  I will faithfully wait a full half an hour before eating a fruit after veggies, and usually by then I am not interested in it anymore.  For if I eat fruit, then I have to wait a half an hour before eating anything else.  Despite the fact that hours and hours go by without my eating anything because I don't want to mix, I feel sated.  It's that juice.  It is a wonder elixir.

Today before I went to play tennis, I had eaten my "lunch" at 4:00, and that was on top of just the juice.  I was a little concerned that I hadn't eaten enough, so I threw in a piece of sprouted grain bread into the toaster (yes, it is allowed at this point) and spread some almond butter on it.  I swear, I was swooning while I ate it.  It was so good.  And there was hardly any of it.  The bread itself is hardly 1/4 inch thick and it was a teeny square, think a piece of bread without the crust.  And I thought wow, I can't believe this is filling me up.

I've done different detox programs before, crazy diets, what have you, and I have the willpower to launch into things full bore.  But this is different.  This feels right.  I even started it on a Wednesday instead of the traditional Monday!  I started it when it was time.  

Over the weekend we went out to eat with friends and I figured I'd employ the 80-20 rule and have something cooked for dinner, perhaps some fish.  But there was a veggie wrap on the menu, so even with the intent to cheat a bit, I ended up staying almost 100 percent on the program, the only crazy thing I did was eat non-0rganic.  And that made me feel good -- like it will be possible to incorporate it into my everyday life.

I am choosing to make it easier for myself -- like tonight after tennis I didn't join the others for a drink in the bar -- but instead returned home to my already prepared cabbage and mung bean salad with a peanut sauce *YUMMY*  and that was okay too.  It's like it's all alright, all okay, all the way it is supposed to be.

It's so hard to explain.  Because truly, how can ingesting a certain type of food change your outlook on life?

Because food is powerful.

F00d is beautiful.

Food can kill.

Food can bring you to life.

I choose life.

Cottage thoughts

We spent the weekend at the cottage and last night as I was roaming about before bed, several thoughts occurred to me and I SO WISHED that I had a computer there so I could blog, but alas, that is part of the experience -- shedding the shackles of technology for a few brief days.

I was on the couch reading a book called Wish You Were Here, which is not a very good book but I have continued reading it because it is about a family who is selling their cottage and it takes place over the week they are all together, and a lot of it resonates with me from my own experience of being in a cottage family.  For one, despite the fact that I am an in-law, I have probably spent as much time in the cottage as the rest of the family did while they were growing up (with the exception of my in-laws who spend every summer in it and my husband, who not only grew up in it but has also experienced it far more than his siblings over the years.)  While the majority of them come up for a handful of weekends over the course of a summer, as I lay in the living room last night I realized that the cottage has been my home on more than one occasion.

The first time was when I was pregnant with Hallie and we were raising our house to put a cellar (foundation) underneath.   Our house was unliveable and so we lived in the cottage -- which was like a paradise compared to our house -- which was under construction for roughly ten years.  Every spring after that, as soon as it was warm enough to turn the water on, we would move to the cottage until Peter's parents arrived for the summer.  It was our haven -- our little get-away from a tiny house on the lake with a neighborhood of people we both knew and enjoyed.

The second time we lived at the cottage (as our only home) was when this house was under construction and we were promised that we would only have to vacate it for two months.  So the plan was to be at the cottage for May and June.  By the end of July, with no end in sight of this house becoming liveable, I moved us back anyway and we lived in one room off the garage for the rest of the summer, slowly eeking our way into other rooms as they became available.  The cottage can be a peaceful haven -- but when it is filled to the gills with people, it can become a creaking insane asylum with thin walls.

I'm not kidding.

And we never really moved back to the cottage for extended periods after that because our house suddenly became REALLY nice and the cottage was filled with inconveniences.

Which I found interesting, because last night, as I wallowed in my nostalgia, I realized that I'd come full circle:  The cottage now feels like a haven again -- a little get-away spot where the kids can't immerse themselves in TV and video games and computers (or even better, I don't have to keep telling them to turn all those things off) and I could lay on the couch reading as everyone else slept and listen to the voices outside on the public dock, or people walking by and recall that I was one of those people not so long ago -- completely unaware that someone might be sleeping in those dark cottages.  Or really not caring, I am sure.  And I enjoyed listening to the people as they passed, a Saturday night, a hot summer night ... the sound of a boat speeding away in the distance.

The book I was reading delved into the relationships between the family members, and the roles that each played in relation to the cottage.  Who drove the boat, started the BBQ, made the food, did the dishes, did a puzzle, got mad because someone was staying up late talking (and through thin walls everything can be heard) and who ate food that was supposed to be saved for a meal, and rainy days where the TV is on and how that upsets certain generations ... and I just laughed.  For I could write a book on the things I've been through with family members over the years in regards to the cottage.

A book I tell you.

But I made up my mind at the beginning of this summer that all the things that bothered me in the past about the cottage are not going to touch me.  I have released them all to the universe -- (so be careful, for swirling around out there is some pretty crazy stuff!) and I realized last night that it worked.  I am at last free to enjoy myself there -- to just be more like Peter and not let things bother me that I have no control over.  

And as I walked in the darkness (choosing to not turn on lights for some reason) through the kitchen and down the hall to the bathroom, I realized that my body knew where to turn, my hand knew where to reach out and keep myself from running into the door, that I had done that a thousand times, maybe more, and how cool is that?

I didn't grow up with a cottage in my life, but I grew into a cottage!  In the book, one of the characters is Arlene -- she is the sister of Henry who has died.  It is his wife and children who, along with Arlene, are spending this final week together before the cottage is sold.  Arlene and Henry grew up at the cottage and Arlene feels that even though Henry somehow inherited the cottage from her parents (she never married and spent every summer there her whole life, in her own bedroom) it's not right that Henry's wife is selling it.  And yet, she says nothing.

There are so many things that are never said within families.  So many grievances, clashing personalities, irritations ... and good things, there are good things!  (Give me time, I'm sure I'll think of them).  But what I thought last night, as I wandered about a structure I have no claim on (a la Arlene) that it's the holding on that creates the problems!  Just enjoy the moment.  Who cares that tomorrow someone might walk through that door and change the entire dynamic.  All that matters is that none of it really matters.

I have worked so hard to create a situation at the lake that works for me.  Peter would be happy no matter what.  He will take the garbage to the dump, fix what needs to be fixed, provide all the food and toilet paper and gas and boats and anything else that one needs for a stay at the lake.  And from this point forward -- I'm not going to keep him from being taken advantage of!  Where ever I saw a problem, I sought a solution.

But it's just a lot of work and in the end it just gets in the way of my own enjoyment.  Really.

Everything is how you perceive it.  My perception switched from headache to haven this weekend.

It's going to be a good summer!

Peace

I knew that I really, really wanted a Jeep (Wrangler), and have, for years.  I don't know why.   And every year Peter and I go to the Vineyard in October and rent a Jeep and that has only kept that yearning alive.

Well, when we were in Palo Alto, CA we were walking along the sidewalk and I spotted a 4-door Jeep without a top, and I stopped and said "whoa, what is that?"

The only 4-door Jeep Wrangler's that I'd seen in these here parts had hard tops and looked like big vehicles, not a fun Jeep.  Peter and I had already determined we needed the extended version that was apparently only made for one year, and we'd test driven one that they wouldn't give us a good price for with our trade-in, and I was wondering if it was ever going to happen.

But apparently bringing the 4-door into play made all the difference in the world.  I received a phone call yesterday from Peter asking me what color I preferred:  Silver or maroon (well, he actually said purple at first and all I could envision was this hippy dippy color that I'd have to paint daisies on!)  I should also point out that this didn't exactly turn me off!  Since I already have a silver car, I said let's go for the maroon!

So last night the kids and I drove home with the roof off -- despite the chilly 60-degree temps -- and I was like YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

The dogs love it -- I put all the seats down in the back and they have plenty of room and they adore hanging their heads out the side and sucking in the wind.  What's not to love!

But this afternoon while Maddie and I were driving back from the lake, my hair was whipping around, the music was blaring and we were singing at the top of our lungs and I yelled to her "I love this!" And I remembered driving my first car home -- the crazy 4-door Volvo sedan I purchased for $3,000 solely because it was the first car I looked at that met my criteria:  That being a sun roof and a cassette player!  But that was what it felt like today ... so exciting!  And while I've had quite a few cars since the Volvo, I've never re-experienced that same excitement!  It is awesome.

Oh, and there's more.  We passed another Jeep Wrangler, and the girl held out her hand in a peace sign.  I looked at Maddie and said "How cool is that, we're part of a new club!"   So that's going to be my gesture too -- and I have to admit, it gave me that warm, fuzzy feeling because she knew!  She knew exactly how I felt.

Now I just need the perfect Jeep-driving hat.

Now I can take down the picture of the 4-door Jeep I taped up months ago near my desk and bedside table.  (The theory being that if you want something and intend for it, it will happen!)  What is funny is that the picture I had was a blue one, and I was never quite sold on that color -- and ALSO -- I was always a little hesitant about the 4-door altogether.  But clearly I always knew.

I am so smart!

Lady slipper flashback

My friend Michele and I were hiking the other day when she said "oops, be careful, there's a lady slipper."

I looked down and saw it, and I was instantly taken back to Briar Road in Bedford, N.H. where I lived while in elementary school.  I could take you to the exact spot that lady slipper was.  Was being the operative word.

Because I killed it.

I don't know where one learns the things we just seem to know -- like red berries will kill you or that certain snakes are poisonous -- you know, random things like that.  But when I was little I somehow accumulated the knowledge that if I picked a lady slipper, it was illegal and I would go to jail.

But I wasn't happy with that explanation.  Like, HOW would you get caught?  Were there police in the woods watching out for the lady slippers?  And why were the lady slippers so special.  No one had answers for this, so it churned inside of me -- a non-answered question that brought forth many, many more questions that no one else had answers for either.   So I stumbled across a little pink lady slipper in the woods while playing hide and seek with the neighborhood gang and I stopped and stared at it.  And then I looked around.  Were there cops hiding behind trees?  Even as a child this made no sense to me, so then I checked the trees to see if there were cameras.  There were not.

So, I said to my young self, no one really will arrest you if you pick a lady slipper.  OR.  Maybe there was something in the stem ... some type of alarm that went off and signaled to the lady slipper watchers that some thieving was going down.  Well, I had to.  I had to pick it.  My curiosity had gone beyond a comfort zone.  I needed to know.  What about the ferns?  Why weren't the ferns protected?  The trees?  The sun?  NO ONE KNEW.

So I picked it, held my breath, closed my eyes and waited for a cage to drop over me.  Or a loud noise.  Or people to come rushing through the woods screaming at me.

But nothing happened.  NOTHING.  And I looked down at the flower in my hand and knew that I couldn't even take it home and enjoy it.  Because they were illegal.  I'd committed a crime, and while no one knew it.  I did.

As I told that story to Michele, I realized that I'd never told anyone about it before.  I still feel the same regret that I felt then as I very gently laid the flower down where I had picked it and pleaded for it to somehow dig deep into the soil and fix itself.  Fix what I had done.  Undo my very bad deed indeed.  ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::hanging head::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I am happy to say that I walked by this particular lady slipper with no inclination whatsoever to test what would happen if I picked it.  And I even thought to myself that I did not singularly bring about the demise of the lady slipper by picking that one oh so long ago, because here we were, some close to 40 years later and there was another pink lady slipper in the woods.

I won't even tell you what I did to bald eagles.

Bathroom literacy

When you are on the road you spend a lot of time in public bathrooms. There are ratings for these facilities as follows:

Hey, this is nice
Not bad
Okay
Absolutely Disgusting
I'd rather pee in the woods

But no matter what the rating, each one is different from the one before, guaranteed. So if in the Hey this is nice one there was a button you waved your hand in front of to turn the covering on the toilet seat to presumably a nice new one for you, and a sink that you put your hands underneath the water and it went on automatically and the same with the soap, and to get a paper towel you just hold out your hand and wa-la ... you can guarantee that in the next bathroom you attend ... say the Okay one, you might get sucked down the toilet itself because it chose to flush itself (and then when you are really and truly done you have no idea what part of the back of the toilet one would use to flush). And you will put your hands underneath the faucet, but nothing will come out, so you will realize that you need to turn this faucet on, and then you will start pumping the top of the soap and nothing will happen until you discover that it is automatic, and you will think to yourself why is there automatic soap but not automatic water? It's a crap shoot what type of paper-towel dispenser you'll run into.

They are all different. And it's ridiculous trying to keep up with them. Today in a restaurant I would term as Not Bad, it had a seat cover (9 times out of 10 those dispensers are empy) and plenty of toilet paper. Always pleasant. It flushed itself, but not too soon, and then I held my hands under the faucet. Bupkus.

I waved my hands. Nothing. I started putting my hands underneath all the other faucets. STUPID. Then a girl came out of a stall and quite knowingly held her hand briefly in front of an infrared tab hidden at the base of the faucet. The water went on beautifully. It also went off as soon as you took your hands away to get soap (automatically dispensed without an infrared naturally) and required another gesture. Bottom line, I felt bathroom illiterate. And I've been using them all my life. I swear.

I guess you just get used to it eventually -- I can remember having the same issues with ATM machines and the credit/debit card machines at grocery stores. They were all different and until I became stupid machine literate, I never did it right. I always swiped my card at the wrong time, I never waited for the clerk when I was supposed to and then if I waited for the clerk she looked at me impatiently and like I was a moron and told me to swipe my card -- that I could do it anytime.

Now I read the machine ... I scope it out and figure out what move I need to make next. I just think that having to figure out the complexities of a bathroom on a daily basis is a pain in the butt. So here is how they should be set up:

If you use automatic faucets then automatic soap dispensers are a must. It should be illegal to combine the two because you will ALWAYS hold your hand underneath the soap waiting for it to share. And when it doesn't, then you get mad and use more soap. So therefore, it is wasteful.

All paper towel dispensers that automatically give you a sheet of towel should be programmed to give you about half as much more because I am letting the world know right now that EVERY B O D Y uses two because the first piece isn't big enough. So therefore, it is wasteful.

Automatically flushing toilets should ALL BE TIMED the same. I can't tell you how many times I will stand there waiting for my bowl to flush. I like a clean bowl as well as the next person, and 9 times out of 10 there is someone out there waiting for this particular bowl and I am NOT going to be the person to leave it dirty. I will eventually get impatient and will push what I hope is the proper button just as it is starting to flush. I believe it uses double the water, and therefore, it is wasteful.

I'll be honest. The plastic cover on the toilets (Chicago airport is one of the few places I've seen this) doesn't make sense to me. I am somewhat skeptical of it and think that perhaps it is just turning around in a circle, making you feel good. I have been known to line the plastic cover with toilet paper. Therefore, it is wasteful.

I believe that this automation of bathroom components was derived due to focus groups who determined that less would be used if it was meted out to them in a controlled environment. The water goes off if your hands leave the area. The soap does as well and the paper towels, well, I've already given my opinion on that. This is all fine and I am not against it -- I just want there to be a universal language. One I could learn once and for all.

Traveling with the gals

So my two new buddies are Garmina and Maggie. They are extremely patient, very knowledgeable and while perhaps a little monotone, you listen to them intently.

Garmina, otherwise known as the GPS system Garmin -- and Maggie (Magellan) have changed travel for me forever! No more poring over maps and squinting at teeny tiny lines trying to figure out where the hell you are and where you want to go. Now all you have to do it program your destination into Garmina or Maggie, and wa la, you are on your way.

I am addicted! Garmina is in Linda's car and Maggie is in our rental. I bonded with Garmina first -- I was introduced to her on my birthday when Cheryl, Michele, Grace and I drove to Beverly, Mass. It was Michele's and my first lesson on using such a tool is that when it tells you to go in a certain direction and you are staring up at a sign that seems to be telling you to go a different way -- listen to the Garmin(a). (I am not sure if Michele's Garmin is Garmina! LOL)

Anyway, Garmina will quickly recalculate and tell you how to continue when you do make a wrong move. She also says "recalculating."

Maggie is more subtle. She doesn't say anything, she just figures out the next move and the directions change. I actually missed the "recalculating" comment, but perhaps Maggie is for those that don't like to think they are ever wrong.

Having been intimate with both Maggie and Garmina, I am not sure which one I like best. They both have the same basic features -- Garmina is easier to use in that you push the buttons on the screen and with Maggie you have to use a button that is mostly arrows and I find it a little irritating. But Maggie's screen is bigger. Though I can't figure out how to get it to show when we will arrive, where Garmina has that right on the bottom of the screen -- the actual time that you will get to your destination. And it is remarkably correct.

The bottom line is that there is a Garmina or Maggie coming into my life real soon. I will never print out another questionable Mapquest map again. My life has again changed dramatically!

How cool is that!

San Francisco Treat

So yesterday -- noonish-- found me and my friend Linda at Cafe Gratitude in San Francisco. (Is that a correct sentence? It sounds awful, but I am in a hurry trying to blog before Linda gets here to pick me up, I believe we are Palo Alto-bound).

Anyway. So Cafe Gratitude is a raw food restaurant and we ordered spring rolls, a combo plate with hummus, tapenade and salsa for apps and for lunch I had pad thai and Linda had a warm bowl of quinoa, red rice, and a zillion other things. It was good. Mine was good. But ... I think the food was better at the restaurant in Beverly, Mass.! Just better flavors overall.

We also had coconut water -- which was served in the coconut in Mass. and in a wine glass here. Either way I guess. Less showy in a glass, but easier to drink! But I also didn't have all the raw coconut meat to eat!

And it took us two full hours to eat. Clearly if you eat raw you are in no hurry. It's not that we are slow eaters -- it just takes that long to get waited on, and then for the food to come, etc. You don't feel stressed or concerned, but two hours later you do think my heavens. And for it to be two hours twice makes me think there's something to it!

The people who worked there were very ill looking, I thought. Emaciated or kind of a dull pallor in their faces. This might be from living in a city, I can't be sure, but they were not vibrant and healthful. (Kind of like when you are in a hair salon and you look at the hair styles of all the people who work there, and if they are hideous you think, I gotta go!

I am not saying that I felt that way -- I know the food is good for me -- but they are all missing some key ingredient in their diets. Perhaps a sign to me that totally raw for a long period of time (especially if not done properly) is not good for you. Makes sense.

Anyway, we felt great all day, full of energy, not too full and we didn't even eat another full meal. We split two modest appetizers with our cosmos later, and then decided even later that we preferred the subtle hunger pangs to feeling all bloated and full.

But right now -- it is 11:00 and I am STARVED! Hurry up Linda!!!

I have a new dilemma. I am not sure which city is now my all-time favorite. It was New York, but it was quickly replaced with Chicago, but now San Fran .... is so COOOOOL! We had such a ball driving around yesterday. Driving on those roller-coaster hilly roads was hysterical. We were screaming and laughing and crying. It's pretty darn scary! Going up is unbelievable, going down is like OHMYGOD we're going to die. Then I commented I thought I was smelling her brakes, and she was like stop saying that, shut up, oh no, another hill! It is truly like a roller coaster -- so extreme! At one point I was laughing so hard with my eyes squeezed shut with that feeling in your stomach you get on a scary ride. So there, now you get a taste of driving around with Linda in the city!

After that we went down to Pier 39 which has a view of the Golden Gate Bridge and Alcatraz and walked around, had some cocktails and apps, we caught the sunset, then waited to see the city in lights ... and returned to Linda's room to split a bottle of wine and conversation.

Very nice. I snuck into bed at 2:00 a.m. and now am in dire need of some coconut water to get me through today! Nah, I am sure I will be fine.

Peter? He worked all day yesterday, met with the clients until about 8:30 at night, and then woke up bright and early and worked until he went to meet with the clients again.

All I can say is Thank GAWD Linda is here or I'd be coconuts myself.

Now yesterday, as I gazed at the RED Golden Gate bridge, I asked Linda why it was called that. She said good question. So here is the answer:

It was dubbed the "golden gate" some 150 years ago by prospectors who passed through it on their way to the California gold fields. The color, called international orange, was chosen by architect Irving Morrow , who rejected the traditional gray and black in favor of the color he felt most complimented the bridge's natural setting. They say orange, I say red!

Cool.

Out of the sky comes Oracle

Literally.

Now here's the thing. We are in Silicon Valley -- which means that the techno-geek vibe itself should be powering my internet connection. But no. It is LOW connection ... and keeps going out.

How ironic is that? When I ask for a list of available wireless networks, Oracle's comes up. Unfortunately it is secure -- and I don't have the power to get in! Literally! The hotel has an unsecure network that is huffing and puffing and hardly making any steam. I mean, I could understand it if I was in the middle of nowhere.

But Silicon Valley?

Anyway, I have been slacking big time in the blog department, and that is due soley to the fact that I am so busy traveling, planning to travel, packing to travel or hanging with the kids prior to travel! Can't say I don't love it though. And it is interesting, having taken three trips in such a short period, I can see how you would get used to it and how much easier it gets. Like when we had to wait in line for an hour to get the rental car yesterday.

Peter was out of his mind. I was like, oh this is nothing. In Oklahoma it was much worse because the person behind the counter couldn't speak english! I think ultimately what you have to do when you travel is view the day you are on planes, trains and automobiles as a day where anything can happen -- and most specifically -- probably not what you NEED to happen. Therefore, NOTHING should have to happen on that day!

Make sense?

I listened to a man behind us in the hour-long rental car line (yes it was a line, all these bodies lined up in front of all of the rental car desks waiting to get a car. Nuts!) and he was probably not going to make his daughter's graduation. First his flight out had been cancelled, then he was stuck in this long line with no car reservations and a three hour drive to wherever the graduation was. At that point he was ready to pay anything or do anything to make the event.

And I thought to myself that since he was willing to spend any money to make it to some type of irreplaceable, non-retrievable and once-in-a-lifetime event, wouldn't that money have been better spent in perhaps getting out there a day earlier?

I am just saying. Travel, like anything in life, needs common sense applied to it. There are far too many variables involved when you are talking about getting yourself from one part of the country to another. Even when things go smoothly, it still takes time. And those minutes get eaten up very quickly when you are staring at a watch and hoping, praying, begging to make it somewhere on time.

So here's my travel advice. Wherever you are going and for whatever reason, the day of actual travel should be blocked out as just that. Do not plan to go to a wedding or a graduation or a business meeting that same day because chances are very high that it won't happen. It could! And many times it actually does. But there is a very real chance that it will get screwed up. So you have to ask yourself, am I willing to miss this occasion?

And if the answer is no, then no heavy travel should be on that day.

Is it realistic? Of course. Whatever that man had to do yesterday that didn't allow him to leave then could have been done earlier or been postponed or whatever. If it was work, then he could have taken the day off in addition to the day of his daughter's graduation. (I still think it was odd that his daughter was graduating on a Wednesday evening.) He was a little stressed so I didn't press him for details, but I was going to say if it's a kindergarden gradutation, then who cares.

But that's just me! Clearly it was important to him. So he should have allotted the time. Six hours is not a long time when there are flight cancellations and rental car lines and a three hour drive after a plane trip.

Of course I come from an entirely different place. I used to live a harried nutty life and often worked through the night before climbing onto a plane for a trip. I didn't even take trips very often because it was too stressful trying to find time where I could actually get away for an extended period of time. But now that I travel so frequently I give you travel advice number two.

Buy those Gold Star plans or whatever they are from car rental companies because if you have one you don't wait in line. Even if you avoid one long line it is worth it. I plan on joining one because even if I don't have a graduation to make I still don't enjoy standing around for an hour when my freedom from such misery is completely within my grasp by shelling out a few bucks. Puhleese.

And the other thing I am going to look into are those lounges that VIP's get to hang in at airports. I want in! I want to sit in a nice comfy couch while I am watching the clock tick tock so I can get on a plane and sit some more.

Of course, chances are I won't be traveling for months -- now that I'm getting so darn good at it!

Oh -- and those GPS systems -- worth every penny! Everyone always complains about the ladie's voice. Well. I can't tell you how many times I've been in a car with someone (who shall not be named) and she will tell me that she doesn't know what to tell me, or where to go (even though she has directions in hand!) U-turns and I, we're good buddies. But with a GPS system, it is painless.

So that's all for now from travel central. I have to go take a walk with my husband (who is here to work and he is all antsy and here's me, happy to be typing away!) He also woke me up at 5:30 this time.

GAH!