I am officially NOT NICE

You know, all this talk about being a better person, becoming enlightened -- destroying ego, etc. is all well and good, but I think the bottom line is, I am NOT a nice person.

Now, theoretically, my recognizing that I am NOT a nice person should somehow mean that since I am conscious of it, I am somehow less not nice. At least that is my best interpretation of it, but it is obviously silly. How can you be NOT nice, know it, and then be nice? Doesn't make sense, because the NOT nice acts that you have committed have still taken place.

Anyway, I do try to be nice, I try to be friendly, not over-critical, judgemental and overall kind. I am not saying I reach these goals on a daily basis, but ultimately that is my intent. But what I did yesterday and what I've done in the past in the same situation makes me realize, nope, I am NOT nice.

When you go skiing you use a chairlift to get to the top of the mountain. They came in all sizes, but primarily a chair will fit between two and four people -- doubles, triples and quads. I ski in groups of all sizes and when there are say five of us going up on the triple, two people will go together and then three, or if there are seven people going up on a quad we will split up, four and three -- basic math equations that we figure out before we get on the chair.

But there is one variable that always comes into play that I HATE! Yes, I hate it. It shouldn't bug me so, but it does. It's the damn singles line!

When I ski alone, which I don't prefer to do, but I have many times, I will go up on the chair alone, by choice. I like to go up alone, it is a time to be reflective, to meditate or just be. I experience the alone time for what it is, both on the chair and off, and I don't expect anyone else to be there for me.

What does that mean? Well, "those" people in the singles line I believe have ulterior motives! I know this sounds ridiculous, but I truly think they choose to ski this way just to bug me! HAHAHAHA. Yes, I know, the whole world wants to ride the chair with Lisa. Sounds crazy, but unless you are out there skiing with me, you have no idea. It is true. Because how else would you explain the way people will go to all sorts of extremes to get on a chair with me?

Well, maybe not all sorts of extremes, but it sounds good! Often when Peter and I are skiing, some person will get on the chair with us because they want to talk. And that is what they will do. Blab blab blab blab blab. Because I am seriously a wench and am thoroughly disgusted that they have hijacked my chair, I won't participate, but Peter is always more than willing to chat them up. Not that you have to, they just want to talk, so it's more a listening role, but I won't do that either. I just sit there and fume that I have to share my space with a perfect stranger who won't ride a chair alone. I think they are selfish. (Heavens yes, I get that I am too, but this is my blog!)

Let me also explain that this does not pertain to crowded days when there are lift lines and it makes perfect sense that each chair should go up with as many people as it can hold. I am talking about when it is not crowded and that person could easily catch an empty chair, but makes a concerted effort to get into your party and they are CRASHING it. For when you go up with another person pressed up against your person, it is more difficult to have the conversations that you normally do. They are listening, or they will interject, whatever they case, it's not a whole heck of a lot different than if you were sitting in a booth in a restaurant and someone came and sat down next to you.

It's obnoxious.

My friend Cheryl and I will have no part of it. And when you ski as two women, it seems the creepy men come out of the woodwork, holding off in the singles lines, counting down the people so that they can coincidentally be standing there ready to go up when you are. Forget about the dozens of other chairs they could have taken beforehand, or the millions of empty ones behind you. No, they target. And we fight back.

We stand there, seeming as though we are going to ski out and get the chair, and at the last moment one of us has a little episode, oops, my boot is undone, oh no, my goggles are falling off ... and the person who thinks he is scoring a ride with the LADIES turns around to discover to his dismay he's on a SOLO ride. Thank you very much.

We get as much pleasure from this as he probably does trying to get on the chair with us! I know, I am incorrigible. Or really, just horrible?

So yesterday, Lisa, a friend that I have never skied with before (and so therefore does not know the leave 'em behind protocol that Cheryl and I practice) and I had two episodes. TWO. There was hardly anyone at the mountain, and we have to deal with it twice on a triple chair.

The first time a guy pushes his way into our lives and Lisa doesn't notice him and so he kind of gets more pushier and explains to her that that is what the singles line is for, so she has to move over and let him in. She was a little taken aback and sidestepped to give him more room, while I gave him the evil/evil eye and nodded towards the two boarders that were in line ahead of us (and why doesn't he go up with them?) He got the message and says to me "I'd rather go up with skiers than boarders." No you pushy prick, you want to go up with two LADIES. I know your kind, believe me. BUT ... I didn't know how to impart to Lisa that we have to do the ole trick him thing. So my choices were to leave her to go up with him, or jam all three of us on to the chair and be disgusted.

I chose the latter and of course ignored him, leaving Lisa to answer his questions. When we got off I explained to her what Cheryl and I do, and she was like, okay. And she said she was too nice, she couldn't NOT talk to him! LOL Obviously so not my problem.

So then, much later, we are getting on a chair, there is no sign of anyone trying to push into our party, and it was a triple, and I was on the left hand side, Lisa was on the right, and we skied out, and when I turned around to catch the chair, I see some doofus adult male boarder struggling to smush himself into the middle spot. And because he was so slow and oafish, he didn't catch up to us, so he ended up sitting on the chair first, which meant that Lisa and I get a chair crashing into us. And I was pissed. He could have caused both of us to get hurt and to what end? Because he wanted to go up with the LADIES.

This guy was a piece of work. I was so mad I turned to him and yelled "why didn't you just go up on your own chair?" This was a reaction to having a chair slam into me, and the obvious fact that we had no idea he was going up with us because what two women split apart and let a guy come between them? Ummm, no one. He knew what he was doing and he thought he was so cool. Bet he didn't bank on Angry Woman!

He was taken aback and he said "Well, I guess I could have," and I said "Yeah, you could have." And then followed a rather uncomfortable silence for a few minutes. But he quickly got over it and he was yelling down to his buddies, Hey Joe, as in "Hey Joe, look at me, I am between two LADIES." What a putz. I of course ignored him and seethed that this had happened to me TWICE in one day, and he completely ignored me and talked to Lisa. Who of course engaged in conversation with him, because she is so nice!

The bottom line is, these are not thoughts or actions that a nice person engages in! A nice person would welcome another human being onto their chair with open arms and participate willingly in conversation. I do want to point out that I **do** do this, but only when it is crowded and therefore necessary to share my life with strangers. I have had many conversations with people doing this, but it is an expectation that I will do this because that is what the situation calls for.

But when it is not crowded, it is NOT NECESSARY! And I do believe that I have every right to enjoy my day in the company of my own choosing and to sit pressed against people I know and enjoy!

I will know that I am in hell if I end up spending eternity on a beautiful mountain with perfect conditions, blazing sunshine, perfectly tuned skis and one chairlift ride after another with a pushy stranger!

:O I am Lisa and I am NOT a nice person.