Trying to balance the weight of the world with the moment

Balance -- I spent the afternoon (and yesterday afternoon too) knowing that I have to balance my quest to prove the world is on a collision course to disaster and that our food is killing us and that drug companies know this and don't care and that it's a good thing I know how to ride horses because they might just be the ONLY transportation we'll have in a few years ... with good things.

Such as?

I took a wonderful hike in the woods (well, everyday this week) and I read two books that were for pure pleasure.  (It always amazes me how quickly I read novels, while it takes me months to slog through the other type books.) And I thought long and hard about all that I am trying to do and why.  Like ... why was I going to go on a juice fast?  Why was I reading about detox diets?  Why was I choking down green juices that tasted AWFUL when I absolutely love and enjoy the juices I make?

The thing that struck me the most is that I NEVER believe anyone at first blush -- I question and question and question.  So why am I not naturally questioning the reasons for completely changing my diet?  I do not have cancer and I do not believe that my body is highly toxic.  For the past four years I have overhauled my diet and while I slip up from time to time, overall I eat pretty darn good.  I am always reading about things that will make me feel better -- I take fish oil/borage oil supplements, I put flax seed oil into my super healthy smoothies, I make homemade Kombucha and drink it daily, I am going to start growing wheat grass and sprouts again and I read that coconut oil is the new kickass wonder supplement.  I just ordered two gallons of the stuff.

Let's face it.  I AM a coco-NUT!  Like the dogs above, watching the dog below fetch a stick, I am constantly on the look-out for the next cure-all, the wonder food or supplement that will make my skin vibrant and my hair full and luxuriant and my eyes sparkle and fill me with vitality.  I read and read and am told that I should eat many mini-meals over the course of the day, that I MUST NOT do anything while eating those meals but be in the moment and chew each mouthful slowly and I should only eat raw food and my body's PH levels are off and I am full of gawdawful things and my colon is totally full of nasties .... and you know what?

I HAVE TO STOP!!!!  The fact of the matter is I am NEVER sick, I am full of vitality, my skin is really in quite nice shape and my hair isn't falling out nor is it brittle or whatever I am attempting to combat through all these things!  I mean geesh, live in the moment a little because I am so far off course from that with my concerns about peak oil and cancer and the fact that women are being terrorized ... it's TOO MUCH!

I like food, I like food that is cooked, I like to curl up with a good book and some food and do the two at the same time!  I mean, I enjoy it!  And I can't climb into my car everyday and wonder, as I drive 10 miles to pick up Charlie at the school in the middle of nowhere and another 10 miles in the opposite direction to pick up Maddie if that someday that won't truly be possible.

There has to be a middle ground -- between putting one's head in the sand and pretending that everything is going to be just fine and keep abreast of truths and consequences and figuring out what are the best actions to take.

I need a chill pill.  

I wonder if they sell those by the gallon?  Because you know it, I'm going to order them right now.