Food thrills -- brain games

I forgot to juice this morning.  Things got all out of wack because Charlie's school had a two-hour delay and somewhere along the line between having to go out two different times to take kids to school and bugging him about schoolwork, what he wanted for lunch, etc. it just didn't happen.

At 10:00 I had a whole wheat roll.  Then I went on a hike and was seriously dragging.  It was long and we were wearing snow shoes and it was like slogging along ... I just had no energy.

I had two pieces of cold leftover pizza (not homemade) when I got home at 2:00 because I needed something quick.   And I felt sooooooo tired and blah.

Later, while showering, I wondered why I was so tired.   And I put it all together, the no juicing, the lack of protein, the long hike, the sunshine beating down, not carrying water because it's been winter for so long it hasn't been necessary and the fact that it was a weekend of merry-making.

As I stood before the mirror combing my hair out, I wondered why I am so hard on myself.  Why was I berating myself for being tired when there was a long laundry list of very good reasons for my being so?    Part of it is because I know that if I eat well I will feel well, but the truth of the matter is that I feel fine ... I just don't feel like dancing on tables.

Is it necessary to be so full of energy all the time that you want to fly?

I laid down on my bed for a bit and it felt very good.  And I thought ... most people do not hike as much as I do -- why is it necessary for me to dissect why I am tired?  I SHOULD be tired ... it was a solid hour and a half of hiking in loose snow!  Why do I think I have to be Wonder Woman all the time?

I am so competitive -- even against myself -- and every type of exercise I do has to be measured against the time before.  Did I shave off any minutes, seconds, nanoseconds?   It doesn't matter, as long as there is progress.   It's ridiculous!  And it completely goes against the Living In The Moment mindset.

I am constantly critical of Peter always doing -- and yet, I am no different in terms of having to DO BETTER than the time before.  Or not realizing that climbing a mountain is an accomplishment.  Or walking 12 miles through three towns is not really normal!  When I get stiff I think there is something wrong with me!  I haven't eaten properly, I'm not in good enough shape, anything but the obvious:  My body is tired! 

Geesh.

I made myself a smoothie with mixed (frozen) berries, acai, protein powder, flaxseed oil and fresh blueberries.  I don't know whether or not it is psychological, but I already feel a million times better.  Food not only nourishes your physical body, but your brain clearly gets a kick out of torturing you when you feed it pizza and making you believe you are good for nothing!

Brain games!  And now, after pouring down a beautiful, purple concoction down my throat my brain is giggling and touching off feel good neurons.

Food kills.  And Food Thrills.

This bumper sticker keeps getting longer!