Popeye loved spinach

Today both Maddie and Charlie were home -- he is on vacation this week and Maddie had today off. I woke up to them fighting -- screaming and yelling. I woke up yelling at them to be quiet.

Lovely.

Since it was raining out, Charlie didn't spend much time outside, and neither did the dogs. They spent a lot of time rolling around on the floor together, or Charlie was showing Lucy how to run and jump on the couch. STOP I yelled for the millionth time. You don't teach puppies how to jump on furniture ... do I REALLY have to explain this?

Then I took Maddie shopping for a dress for her formal next weekend. I would rather pull out my fingernails than shop with Maddie -- she hates everything, thinks that all material is wrong, the looks are wrong and gets in a bad mood about 12 minutes after we've entered a store -- despite promising me that she will NOT get like this.

Today the shop owner even remembered that Maddie hated everything -- including advice -- and we just kept rolling our eyes or shaking our heads whenever Maddie dissed whatever I would give her to try on. She put on a skirt and a shirt that were perfect -- very nice. But she said the shirt made her look like an old person. An old person? Now granted, I won't even take her to the stores where they feature slut-wear, which is what the majority of the girls wear, but she isn't interested in that look either. But old people? Is she referring to me?

Harumph.

So we bought the skirt and left the perfect matching shirt hanging on the rack, and she put together what she thought was the perfect ensemble. A blue button-down shirt that a librarian might wear. Whatever. If she feels comfortable and thinks she doesn't look like an old person -- then so be it. The point is, it's not fun, it's torture. For both of us.

We returned home and Maddie and Charlie resumed fighting. I had given them rooms to clean, and of course one of them was always doing more than the other ... "I vacuumed the entire house and you did nothing ..."

Charlie and I are headed to Boston for the next few days then I leave for Chicago on Friday, so as I was looking at the food in the fridge I realized that I needed to use up some of the perishables or they would perish in my absence. Normally I put spinach in salads, but I wasn't in the mood for salad -- so I did something I never do -- I steamed the spinach.

Well.

Since the spinach was the only green being served with the chicken and rice -- it was mandatory that both Maddie and Charlie ate it. They always eat whatever I serve, but for some reason this spinach disgusted them. Too bad.

I told them they had to go to their rooms for the rest of the night if they didn't eat it. They actually looked at the clock and tried to figure out how many hours they would have to kill.

EAT IT.

Well, what ensued was madness. First Maddie took a bite and spit it back on her plate. Then negotiations began and it was determined that they would only have to eat half of the spinach on their plates. They of course then argued about what half is. And naturally Charlie's half was smaller than Maddie's half.

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

Then Peter told Charlie that if he drank something, it would go down easier. This was after Charlie had run to the bathroom to supposedly throw up.

I wasn't impressed.

Then Maddie reminded me of her Survivor birthday party where I had served spinach as a gross food that they had to eat.

I said that was different, it had been cold.

She said hers was now cold.

Well, mine had been hot and it was delish. I told her the microwave was open. So she had the great idea of putting some spinach on a piece of banana. Amazingly enough this didn't work and she ran to the bathroom.

I felt like I had been transported back in time and was dealing with two little brats instead of two teenagers!

It's SPINACH I cried. Not arsenic. (Th0ugh that is tasteless and they would probably consume that happily.) Just goes to show what kids know.

My days have expansive amounts of time with no children around.

I love them.

Summer is coming.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH