Not 800 words, but I wrote something!

I admit that I am too independent at time; but it's from a lifetime of taking care of myself and believing that I was the only one who could do so. Maybe that was wrong, maybe that is right, who knows, but I never see any reason why someone should help me out with my cart at the grocery store because I feel moronic walking beside the person to my car.

That is just one example, and not a very good one, but today I was killing time at the mall while Charlie was at school giving tours, and so I tried on a bunch of clothes. At one store I was left alone -- I could walk into the dressing room and try on what I wished, then I just put the clothes I didn't want on a rack outside the door. No fuss no muss.

The next store I was looking around and "Barbara" came up to me and told me that her name was Barbara and she would be more than happy to help me. Well, help me look? Because that was what I was doing, and I felt that this looking thing was sort of personal. I smiled nicely and said thanks. Then she asked me if there was something in particular I was looking for, and I said no, just looking. GET IT, JUST LOOKING. Geesh.

So then she asked me if I realized that there were several racks (that I hadn't reached yet) that if you bought one shirt you got the second one half off. Okay, I smiled again, good to know. And then she continued to stand there. I sighed, and seriously considered leaving. I hate to be followed in a store. I ignored her and she went away, and I proceeded to continue to look and gather a pile of things to try on. So of course when I went to the dressing rooms I found them locked, so I had to search around for dear Barbara, who was actually on top of a ladder doing something. She nearly killed herself in her haste to get down and open the door (just leave the damn door open ... I hate that) and I went in. She didn't count the number of clothes I took in there with me either, so the whole locked door thing was moot. I also had a big bag. No, I didn't steal anything, because I am not a thief, but I certainly could have. A locked dressing room door just pisses me off. It doesn't stop stealing.

So when I came out of the dressing room, I had all the clothes I didn't want in one hand and I was searching for a rack. I found one that clearly wasn't meant to be that, and hung them up. Barbara saw me do it and gave me a bit of a dirty look. Sorry, just trying to help. I also left the door ajar for the next person, like me, who came along and wanted to try something on and didn't feel like begging for it.

I had a few shirts I was buying and I was looking at these necklaces when Barbara came over and asked me if I had found everything I was looking for. Which, I guess I did, though I wasn't really looking for anything in particular, I was JUST LOOKING. I smiled and said yes, and she pointed out that one of the shirts I was purchasing had the buy one get the second one half off deal. I just nodded. And she explained that they came in lots of different colors, and I sighed and said yes, thank you. So then she brings over the other colors! I said, I thought quite nicely, despite the fact I was super bugged, that yes, I had seen all the other colors and quite liked the one I had chosen. But, she insisted, half off was an excellent deal.

Was it free? I inquired, I thought quite nicely, despite the fact I was super bugged, and she laughed and said oh no, now that would be a good deal. I said exactly. That sort of threw her, but she was not to be undone, no sirree, she rushed behind the counter and promptly asked me if I wanted to save ten percent that day and open up an account. NO I DO NOT. I DO NOT EVER WANT TO OPEN AN ACCOUNT ANYWHERE. I DO NOT WANT TO SAVE THREE DOLLARS IN ORDER TO PAY EXORBITANT SURCHARGES ON THEIR STUPID CARDS.

Oh, she said, well okay then, also, do you know about our something or other plan, and at this point if I hadn't wanted what I was buying, I would have left. She almost got punched when she asked me if I cared to spend a further $25 so I could get a free tote.

And I wonder why I shop online? Well, no longer do I wonder! Then I thought, okay, you're being a bitch, show her some love. So I put on my happy face and smiled and thanked her very much for her help, and she beamed and followed me out and said, "you know, it really is a good deal, getting that second shirt for half off, and then you would also be close to the $25 for the free tote bag!" I stopped and looked at her.

That shirt was so cute on you.

HA! She never saw me in it, I never came out of the dressing room. I smiled sweetly and asked her if they were paid on commission. Oh no! she exclaimed, that would be nice. So what was the deal? Why was she being so damn helpful when I was obviously not the loved to be helped kind?

Was she torturing me?

Yeah, I think so too. I think I'll go back tomorrow and return everything and ask for a free tote bag so I can tote everything I buy at another store!