The power of suggestion, damn hornet

This is EXACTLY what he looked like.

Who?

Well ... I was lounging on the couch on the screened porch.  I'd positioned myself just so, with the goal being maximum comfort.  I'd set up the table next to me with a big glass of water, a small bowl of chocolate covered blueberries and two books.  The breeze was blowing ... I was in heaven.

I returned my mother's phone call, and told her about my recent trip to Chicago, and we were chatting away when I raised my arm above my head and rested it on the pillow.  And then suddenly I felt as though a nail had been driven through the base of my thumb and I jumped up, yelling "Ow, Ow," and I said to my mother "I think I've been stung."

I looked, and sure enough there was a small red dot and it was already beginning to swell.  But I had other fish to fry ... or as it were, a goddamn hornet to kill.  I pulled back the pillow and there he was, little bastard, acting as though he belonged there.  I took one of the books and went at him, and my mother kept commenting that I was awfully aggressive.

It hurt!  And darn it, it is my screen porch!  It's not like I was out batting at a hornet's nest.  This particular insect was NOT respecting boundaries.  He had to go.  And he did.

The pain actually surprised me, it was getting worse, so my mother instructed me to put meat tenderizer on it.  The thing is ... I don't eat meat!  So she said that she couldn't help me then, but she reminded me that she hadn't actually become allergic to stings until she was older ... you know, probably like my age.  And did I know what to do?  Get to the hospital fast.

I said I was fine, and as I applied ice, she continued on that no, the first time that she went into anaphylactic shock she'd been stung while mowing the lawn and thought nothing of it -- and therefore continued to mow.  It was about an hour before the symptoms came on (she said I'd know it ... she didn't need to go into them) so I just never knew.

Now is that nice?  My hand is killing me ... though I'm not sure if that's more due to the ice than the sting ... I've attempted to remove the stinger though I don't think there is one, and I applied a poultice of baking soda and water.  And now I am sitting here of course experiencing all the symptoms ... like ...

I am sure my tongue is swelling.  Or maybe not.  Well, it feels bigger than normal.  I think.

I might be a little disoriented.  A little cloudy headed.  Confused?  Maybe?

I might be having trouble breathing, but that might be because I am panicking about my tongue possibly swelling and the fact that I can't remember if I am disoriented or not.

No, I don't think it's funny.  I am a victim of both a hornet's sting and the power of suggestion.

I wish I'd made note of the time of the actual assault (though maybe I would be too confused to recall) so that once an hour or so has passed I can safely believe that I am not going to have a reaction.

Well, clearly I AM having a reaction.  Instead of being out on the porch enjoying my mid-afternoon as planned, I am sitting at my computer looking up everything I can find on being stung.

I have been stung before.  The last time was on an island while camping.  It was a bee that time.  Our campsite was surrounded by them and we'd more or less become accustomed to their presence.  I took a bite of my sandwich and the next thing I know felt the back of my throat being stung.

And I didn't die that time.  So I'm thinking I'm safe.

Who am I and why do I have white paste all over my hand?