It is absolutely beautiful here today. Not a cloud in the sky. And I don't care. I don't want to go to the dock, I don't know what I want to do! Yesterday I went to buy food. There was none to be had. The farm stand didn't have any lettuce, one small bunch of kale and everything else didn't appeal to me. I then went to the joke of a health food store in town and they didn't have any fruit. The woman was unapologetic. I am not sure why they don't just out and out go out of business, because that is clearly where they are headed. Every time I walk in there something has been taken away and there is more open floor space.
So then I went to the supermarket, which I hate and abhor, and bought overpriced organic apples that are teeny tiny and some lettuce which is from GAWD KNOWS WHERE.
I was not pleased. In fact, I was disgusted. It means I have to once again wrap my head around the fact that I live in a very sucky area for food, and it is so depressing. I mean, it is August for heaven's sake. What? No more locally grown food?
Not that the island was pristine in this arena. The local farmstand that has always boasted locally grown produce straight from their fields is now just a machine. I had to run in one evening to get something, oh, some lettuce, and as I stood in the 20-person-deep line, I looked around. Next to nothing was organic and next to nothing was even locally grown. I looked in the back and there were people ripping boxes open as fast as they could to get the shipped produce out onto the shelves. Blech! So all these people were standing in line for the exact same produce they could buy at the supermarket in any town, city or country for that matter, and paying through the nose for the simple idea of locally grown produce. Cuz it wasn't what they had in their little baskets.
I never returned, which was fine with me because it is ridiculous how crowded it gets -- and I guess you can't blame the place, why not make money off the masses of New Yorkers, New Jerseyites and Connecticuters who don't take the time to look around? There is one privately-owned grocery store on the island that does have locally grown produce, and that is where I went and was most happy. It sure beats driving around to five places, let me tell you.
I am sick of the food search, I really am. Maybe I should just stop trying to eat healthy, eat what everyone else is eating, contract multiple diseases and die a young death. Sometimes it feels as though it would be easier, I swear!
The problem with eating the way I have been the past few weeks, is that it sucks out my spirit. So I guess it's not really roaming around on the Vineyard, it just doesn't exist! I have to fill my cells with good food and living enzymes so that I can once again return to the optimistic energy-filled person I was two weeks ago. Right now I feel so bleah and blech and blah and blue.
I am going to go make some juice with those stupid little apples and see if I can stop being so ... so full of b words!
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