24 Things

I was going to begin this thing on October 1 called 24 Things.  Each day, for 24 days, I was to remove one thing from my house -- give it away, sell it or throw it away -- in order to create space for creativity to flow.  Space.

In the few days leading up to October 1st, I have been on a thing frenzy.  And not disposing of, but obtaining of.

This is who I am.  If even **I** tell myself that I am going to do something, I do the opposite.  I can NOT be told what to do -- even by myself -- without a negative reaction!  It is as though I unleashed some purchasemaniac within me -- and I just want to BUY BUy Buy buy.  So wrong.

It is October 2 and I have only bought things because the rules are you have to purge one thing -- and NOT purchase ANYthing for 24 days.  Clearly I do not like rules.  Even self-imposed ones.

Such amazing and total self-destruction of my own potential goals.  The rule not to purchase stuff has rekindled a complete and total love of stuff.  I want stuff.  Pretty stuff.  STUFF and things.  GIVE THEM TO ME.  NOW!

Yeah, I know.

It kind of freaks me out too.

Epiphany. (not a good one!)

Need.

Greed.

Confusion.

Self-loathing.

Wonder.

Anxiety.

Churning stomach.

Mind blowing.

Wrong.

Unfortunate.

Evasive.

Pathetic.

Astonishing.

Unexpected.

Amazing.

Foolish.

Pitiful.

Upsetting.

Disappointing.

Self-discovery.

Not that big of a deal.

Recoverable.

Faddish.

I may not have begun to purge 24 things.  But these are my 24 words to describe this.  Now as Scarlett would say, Tomorrow is another day!