Isn't this expression becoming all too familiar? You see it on your children's faces, your friends, and of course, perfect strangers.
It is the text daze ...
So. Yesterday we were in Concord and decided we needed to go have a bite to eat and a margarita at LongHorn's after a very successful afternoon of shopping. (We finally have all the pieces for the upstairs bathroom ... once the sink is in, we are D O N E!) The place was not crowded at all -- it was too early for dinner -- and we had a front row parking spot and our choice of seats at the bar.
When I went to the rest room, there was a woman leaning against the wall in line for a stall, and she had the glazed look of a seasoned texter. She of course, did not remove her eyes from the screen to acknowledge my existence.
After about 15 seconds of my standing there, I thought to myself that I had been to this restaurant a LOT over the years, and when the parking lot had been so full I had to drive around to find a spot. And even when it was that crazy crowded, I had NEVER stood in line to go to the bathroom. So what was up? There was no one in the parking lot, how could there be a line for the bathroom?
So I said to the texter, "are you in line?"
It was then that she peeled her eyes away from her screen to realize that there was a human being standing there before her. Her eyes actually RETURNED to the screen and she resumed her pecking on the teeny keyboard and shook her head.
Umm, what does that mean? She isn't in line? She doesn't know if she is in line? Seriously, should I ask her her phone number, return to my car to find my phone (which I have no problem disconnecting from my persona because I actually prefer to live my life in living color) and then text her and ask the question so she could answer in the language she is most fluent in?
So I repeated myself. "Are you in line? I mean, you know, to use the toilet?" (I didn't know if she would confuse my question with being in line to text her next.)
Again! She looked at me, with that faraway look that texter's have that is a dead give-away to the fact that they are NOT listening to you.
I actually had to go to the bathroom, that was why **I** was there. Why was she? Was she afraid to go into a stall because she might drop her lifeline into the bowl? Cuz, if she didn't answer me soon, **I** was going to toss her little StupidBerry into next year.
She pushed the send key then said to me, "I am waiting for my son, he is in that stall," she motioned with her phone-heavy hand. "I don't know if there is anyone in the other stalls, you'll have to look."
Why thank you, I thought, shooting her daggers from my eyes that would have scared her had she actually been looking at me and not her stupid phone. ALL of the stalls were open, I am not even sure her son was in there. He could have easily left ten minutes ago and she wouldn't have noticed. In fact, now that I write this, I don't think there was a son at all. Because I never heard a flush, and when I came out of my stall, she was applying a fresh layer of mascara to herself. No small (or large) child in sight. All stalls empty.
Do you think maybe she was texting the child and forgot that he wasn't there at all? I was curious to see if she would acknowledge my existence without her phone in her palm, and I gave her a big smile in the mirror.
I got nothing. She was totally enraptured with her task. Here I was, so close I could feel the heat from her body, and she didn't even know I was there. Or I should say, give a shit that I was there.
What is wrong with a little human connection? Can you ONLY communicate with someone via texting? Is there some law that says once you become a diehard texter, you have to shun normal contact because you might realize that your life is small and under 1,000 characters per conversation?
I text, to make plans with friends, to shoot out little tidbits of information. Sometimes, when I am driving in the car as a passenger, I will text a full conversation back and forth with someone. (I do not text and drive though. While I haven't officially signed Oprah's pledge, I am certainly of the mindset that I have nothing that important to say to anyone that can't wait until it is safe to relay that information.) I believe that I use texting in a healthy manner and I am not obsessed or crazed or shunning face-to-face contact for the wonder of words tossed about the ether and delivered with a buzz or a beep.
I used to love little gadgets, but as I watch people turn into zombies I am really turned off by it all. I have found that I am going the other way (which is totally my personality. Once EVERYONE is doing it, then I am done!) I spend much less time on the computer than I used to; and I make a point to leave my phone behind when I am doing something where it makes far more sense to be in the moment, then to believe that there is anything I can't wait several hours to find out. I don't want to be accessible to anyone and everyone at all times. The worst thing you can do is have your phone attached to you ALL the time. Because then when someone calls and you DON'T answer, then someone thinks something is wrong with you. Or that something has happened. Where could they be? They ALWAYS answer their phone.
I have never always had my phone with me -- and I am thankful beyond belief that I don't work in a world where you are expected to do so. I dodged that bullet, and I am extremely thankful. I have to constantly monitor myself to keep myself from getting sucked into such things -- even the blogging is a time suck -- though I enjoy it and will never let it become a job. That is why I haven't been as regular -- been too busy watching the world come alive.
This spring has been so beautiful to witness. Everywhere I go I marvel at the transformation of a world that was sort of dingy and gray turning into a palette of color and activity. I am highly aware of gardens in the yards of the houses I pass, either walking or driving. I take note at how far they have come since the last time I passed. I oogle their pea fences and since I just planted a raspberry bush patch, I am now on the lookout for those. I saw one this morning -- little plants just like mine, and I wondered if mine would grow straight up like that, or get more bushy.
Anyway. This is the deal. If you come into a restroom and I am standing there, I will not have a phone in my hot little hand and I won't ignore you. I promise. I still believe that the person standing right next to me is worthy of my recognition -- even if I am desperate to text a friend that the line in the bathroom sucks.
:)
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