Tonight

Our family unit is a bit off balance this weekend. While it is perfectly normal for me to go off, for a night, two nights, a week, or even a month, no one else in this family does that. Ever.

This weekend Peter and Maddie are off to Rhode Island for a softball tournament, and Charlie and I are staying home. While this shouldn't be such a big deal, the first thing I thought was WHAT CAN WE DO? We joined up with friends and had a most wonderful evening together. Charlie and Julia went out on the sunfish and disappeared for hours and Linda and I sat on the beach and chatted and caught up. As we sat on the beach, long after everyone had left, we watched falling stars and breathed in the delightful smell of s'mores that the kids were making.

It was awesome. And there was such a freedom to sit on a beach until midnight, not having to worry about calling anyone and telling them what we were doing. We completely skipped dinner -- we just wandered into cocktail hour and never looked back! Loved it.

It is almost unreal to me to believe that I am going to sleep alone (with Charlie) in this house, without Peter, for all of the 12-plus years we have lived here. Peter does not travel for work -- there were a few nights in the beginning where he thought he might plow all night and I was like, yeah, no. I am not sitting at home all night worrying about you driving thirty minutes in a blizzard to plow. I had small children (well, WE had small children, but at that point in time it seemed as though **I** had small children to care for and he had this business idea. Like I said, yeah, no.)

I was working full time and I was on the edge -- and I made it blatantly clear that if he left for even one evening, he left for good. Which brings us to now! Wow, I am woman hear me roar!

Me, I leave all the time. I travel here, I travel there. I am completely comfortable going anywhere. And let me admit, I am thrilled beyond belief that tonight I get to go to bed and TURN ON THE LIGHT and read all night long if I want to! In my own bed! It's almost scandalous how much it thrills me that this is coming to pass. Never, ever do I get to go into an empty bedroom. I always have to sneak in and not try to wake him up.

Change has always been in my blood. Always. When anything new comes along, I get excited. Even the thought of being in my own house, with a few people missing.