Rise and fall of Fall 2009

I think one of the hardest things to capture is the perfect fall day. I mean, some are no-brainers -- there are some days when the sky is the right blue and the leaves have peaked and you just happen to have a camera. But those days are pretty few and far between. Believe me.

I carry my camera around with me religiously and I am always looking for that perfect picture. This year it didn't seem to come. When the foliage was at its best, the sun never came out. And when it did, perfection wasn't speaking to me.

I did spend a day in Portsmouth when the sky was just right, but by then the foliage had progressed to mostly yellows. Oh well, it was beautiful and I took a bunch.

Following is the rise and "fall" of fall 2009!

OHMYGOD I have been playing with these pictures all day, I swear. To heck with it, I am just posting this. I used to go to flickr and drag the photos into the blog, but they have downgraded my account because I don't pay and now I can only drag the photos in a SMALL size. So I then downloaded the photos via blogger but they all came in as one and if I try to delete one, it deletes them all.

Nightmare, I tell you. Anyway, I was going to comment on the pictures, but I can't. Or at least near them. The first and last photo (I wanted it to be last, not first and for some reason it is now in twice and if I try to get rid of it ALL the photos go) was going to be a tag line such as ... and this is how it ends ... and I sometimes feel like this sunflower -- beaten down and discouraged that summer and fall are both over and it's all gray and dismal from here on in. I haven't chopped these down (the sunflowers in the garden) yet, because they really are so forlorn and yet ... so strong. Those stems are amazing. They could weather a winter if they wanted to. Except for the part where they're well, you know, dead!!!!!

Later, tomorrow, soon, yep, I'll get to it.

I promise.

I don't know what is going on, but I am like a giant magnet walking about with things pinging towards me and clinging for all their life. And I think, oh, good idea, I can do that, oh, I'll do that too ... and I am getting buried!

My desk is ridiculous. Everything is at that stage where it has gone so far it is overwhelming. So I've been putting off cleaning my desk since ... ummm, August? Ditto with the pile of clothes in my room that represents the between seasons limbo -- there are still shorts and t-shirts, because I am a diehard optimist and I am STILL holding out for that Indian Summer. Anytime please. I need to get rid of that pile to make room for ski pants, fleece and sweaters.

My pantry crossed over from being disorganized to detrimental to cooking about a month ago, but again, that is a P R O J E C T and I am not ready to deal. Yesterday I stood there for ten minutes searching for cumin. I used to have all of my spices alphabetically organized on a shelf. But that shelf now has about 10 spices on it. Where did all the spices go? No, seriously, where did they go? I haven't used them all up! They are in hiding.

Or on a shelf where I can't spot them. Same with all of my superfoods. I smartened up a few weeks ago and combined my daily supplements in the cupboard above my blender so I wouldn't have to go search for them every morning. But the umpteen boxes of tea that I took out of that cupboard are now in a basket on the pantry floor. Seriously. WHAT IS MY PROBLEM?

Also, while searching for maple syrup in the jungle of a pantry, I discovered other superfoods I should be incorporating into our diets as well -- especially those with lots of Vitamin C. Oh, and where did all the maple syrup go? I had TONS of it. I was lucky to find the one small bottle. Did someone steal it? No, seriously.

And then there is my office. It's out of control. I mentioned my desk, or the big hulking thing that holds my computer and countless other items like an opened Larabar, old batteries, a Fast & Furious DVD that I don't want but was sent anyway by Columbia House and apparently want to get mad about daily, four books, a pile of empty CD cases, a jar of coconut oil, a bottle of coconut handcream (I do use that constantly) an empty plastic baggy, a water glass, a stapler, two calenders, a notebook with notes scribbled in it for a future blog, and then underneath all that -- who knows.

Then on the ottoman to my right are four stacks of books and magazines, a container of string that I believe HALLIE put there that she was making bracelets with and now a lampshade. Then an empty chair, only because someone sat in it last night and put the lampshade on the ottoman! Then on the floor, in what I am now referring to as my bag store, are all the bags I use. My hiking backpack, my backpack I take to the beach or dock (hmmmm, time to put that away?) and then two sort of handbags that I switch between where I throw in my camera, a snack, water bottle and shopping bags, etc. when I head out for the day. My pocketbook is on the table next to it, which also contains three books, a bra (yes, I was looking for it, now that you mention it) and the camera case. Which begs the question, where is the camera? Undoubtedly in one of the bags in the bag store. I just counted, there are 7 bags.

Am I slob? Well, it would seem so, but not really. It just accumulates, and then, well, what the hell am I going to do with them all? Two of them are those big canvas ones that I take to soccer games, with a blanket and other warm clothes because you never know what it's going to be like. And two sizes because sometimes I go to the games alone, and other times Charlie and Peter go. I could bring them back to the basement, where I got them, but there are still a bunch of soccer games left. Is it worth climbing the stairs each time? I think not.

As for the umpteen backpacks, they really have no home. I used to hide them around the side of my desk in the corner, but that is now home to a stack of pictures that I need to deal with (later) and a big bowl full of rocks.

I love rocks.

I hate all this stuff, as much as I love it. If I rid myself of the detritus of my office; I would undoubtedly purchase it all within weeks. I love bags, I adore books and magazines and truly, the lampshade needs to go because I bought a new one, but do I throw it out? I don't know. I tried to convince the kids to use it as a halloween costume ... but no. Charlie jumps out of bed this morning, with about 10 minutes before we need to leave, and asks me to help him with a great ghost costume.

I think not. But I mentioned the lampshade ... no go. And no go goes the lampshade.

::::::::::::::sigh:::::::::::::::::::::::

I suppose I should get out of the messy office and go into the messy kitchen and clean that up. That is pretty much where my loyalty lies as far as my cleaning budget. I clean that (%#)*$()@&%)@(*$#P* kitchen twice a day. Once in the morning to clean up whatever mess was left from the night before, and then after I cook. The second time I don't mind, because I am cleaning up after myself. But cleaning up after others -- others who can certainly clean up after themselves, just sucks. And really, the only solution I've found to that problem is to just leave! The ONLY time I don't have to deal with the kitchen is if I am not here. And somehow they manage to figure it out. But if I am here, the best they can do is throw a dish or two into the dishwasher. Crumbs on the counter, pans on the stove, etc. are all invisible to their untrained eye.

How did this turn into a bitching session? Because I hate to clean when I don't want to clean. So I'll get to it later. Tomorrow. Soon. Yep, I'll get to it.

Taxi!

NH Electric Coop is not zapping my funny bone right now

So, for the past month-plus we've had a power line laying across the front lawn, from the pole to the house, so we can get power. The reason for this is because they have to dig a hole, lay in a conduit and then run the power line through that. Clearly it is not something they are anxious to deal with, so they have just left us with a live wire across our yard.

Absolutely, utterly ridiculous.

Charlie is home this morning because he doesn't have school and I was taking pure advantage of this and laying in bed with the sun beating down on me and just chilling. Charlie was outside driving around in his go-cart and the dogs started barking. I figured it was because of Charlie, so I kept yelling at them to stop. But they didn't. So I got up and looked out the window and saw the power truck parked out by the pole on the road. Oh, so are they going to deal with that today? Nice of them to let me know.

I heard them knocking on the door, and what did I do? I went directly to the shower. The way I saw it, if I was losing power, I was going to be clean! I knew they were knocking to let me know, and I knew they were knocking because they knew I was inside because I am sure they heard me yelling at the dogs.

And you know what? I don't care.

Charlie came up and said that he had talked to them and when they found out I was showering, they said they would come back in half an hour. Yes, they do need to turn off the power, and they also want to know if they can take up boards on the front porch (to make it easier for them to get the line to the house.) Charlie called Peter who said no, they would have to dig a hole.

Now, at first I thought this was a tad unreasonable. But it's been over a half-an-hour and I've had nothing but time to think. Charlie said they are going to ask me and Peter said that I need to tell them no. Okay. And here is how it is going to go, as I have been rehearsing it in my mind over and over to be sure to get it right.

"Gentlemen! So nice to see you, it's been a while. I understand that you want to pull up some boards on the porch to make your job easier, and you know, I think that makes a lot of sense. But here's the thing. You left us believing that the power issue we've been experiencing since last summer was our problem, and therefore we endured the daily power surges. So while it might seem unreasonable that you have to get dirty and get under that porch to get the job done, I am going to keep reminding myself that I had to pay $450 to get my dryer fixed, a dryer that was undoubtedly ruined by a power surge -- now now, I understand I can't prove that it was done by this, but I think we all know that is the case.

In addition, for three weeks I had no dryer, and had to haul heavy baskets of wet clothes to the laundromat to dry them. Oh, and we also had to endure countless nights of being awakened when the power went off to the sounds of the fire alarms beeping.

I suppose I could go on, like remember the day there were six of you standing around in my yard for seven hours trying to fix the problem that you knew existed and then you left us with the old line hooked up just so "you" could prove that it truly was the problem? And of course, once again we had to listen to the fire alarms beep at 2:00 in the morning.

This, gentlemen, is what you call karma. Or, a tit for a tat. I have no sympathy for you, and if you like, I will get you a shovel. But unless you intend to hire a carpenter to rip up and then replace the boards on the porch, your only option is to dig a hole. And climb in it. It might not bring back all the sleep I lost, or the money I spent on broken appliances or how many times I had to re-connect my computer to the Internet because the power went off over and over and over and over. But it will be fun to watch. Any further questions or are you ready to fix this problem once and for all?"

What do you think? Too long? And even funnier, they have now been gone for an hour, and Charlie and I are getting ready to leave. Maybe I'll just print this out and tape it to the pole.

With love.

Raw World here we come ... again!

I am absolutely CrAVINg raw foods -- it's so weird! Normally this time of year I want to make casseroles and soups and other comfort foods to combat the cold weather and inevitable approach into winter.

But I just want it raw. This morning, before a rather fast five-plus mile walk around the lake, I didn't have time to make a smoothie, but fortunately I had made a raw pudding last night. I had several spoonfuls of that and was READY TO GO! The pudding is a new recipe for me; I have a tried and true raw chocolate mousse that I love, with an avocado base, but this one is sprouted almonds, honey, chia seeds, one banana and cacoa and cocoa powders. I thought how does that make a pudding? I had to try it. Well, it is crazy filling and very satisfying. And also seems to be acting as a catalyst to get me back into the kitchen and preparing raw foods.

I pulled up a recipe of "Almost Nutless Alfredo Sauce" and the picture literally had me drooling. You?

I have made a version of this before, and it is truly delicious. Especially if you pop it into the dehydrator before eating. But this one calls for irish moss, which I bought when I was in Arizona last spring and haven't found a use for it. So that clinches it -- I also need to soak buckwheats so that I can make some raw bagels. I have a stack of recipes here I want to try out and I just retrieved my stack of raw cookbooks.

I am not sure why the raw urge has been dormant for so long, but it's time to return in that crazy, over the top passionate way I tend to do things! The other day in the woods while a friend and I were leaning against trees enjoying our lunches, she asked me if the tuna I had wrapped up in a cabbage leaf was the raw version I make. And I said no, it wasn't -- but I then began to dream about it -- it is LEAP years better than real tuna -- the flavor is to die for and the consistency is better because it is made from Jicama, not, well, fish! I think that planted the seed, and then my mother said that she had finished the cacao macaroons I had brought her a while back; and that she used them when she needed extra energy. I too, do the same thing, and had popped a few before the hike with the real tuna lunch. It just stays with you for so long -- and gives you so much energy and such a feeling of vitality.

Why not embrace it?

Exactly.

I've made this once and it didn't come out perfectly. I am thinking I need to try, try again. Does that not look to DIE FOR?

Off to uncook.

Goodbye Public School memories ... forever

Just finished up with Charlie's conferences and I am sooooooooo looking forward to a few days without having to drive! Yahoo.

It was a pleasure to meet with his teachers as they all had positive things to say (you hear that public school? Yes, they had POSITIVE things to say about Charlie Schiess! Put that in your pipe and smoke it why don't you!) And while you're at it, run your fingers through the flame and ...

But I digress.

The one repetitive commentary we heard time and again was "he is an extremely bright young man." Why, yes he is! I knew that! I did! But we still have a lot more work to do to remove the programming he received the past two years where it was instilled in him that he was not worthy of the air in the room to breathe.

If you do nothing for your children but remove them from the public school system, you will have done more than you can imagine! It seems harsh and it would seem that I might just be a little over the top, but I truly believe that I have a pretty good grasp on the detrimental effects of a culture steeped in negativity -- a focus on what has been done wrong versus cultivating strong work ethics within the minds of children -- and I had three guinea pigs that I offered up to the great experiment that is our failed public school systems.

Three different learners -- all who suffered. Of course there are schools where there are good teachers. But even a good teacher will eventually get beaten down by the stupidity, negativity and overall general apathy that they deal with on a daily basis. Who wouldn't?

The last time I met with teachers on behalf of Charlie, they sat at a conference table and told me how horrible my son was. Only two of them had some positive feedback; but one was the art teacher and the other the home economics teacher -- both classes where it was more hands-on. Did the other teachers realize that perhaps Charlie's learning style might not fit into their cookie-cutter approach? Well, they didn't care! They didn't have time to care. They dealt with the situation at face-value and boy, did they let us know how horrible the kid was.

So now, thousands upon thousands (upon thousands) of dollars later; I met with all of Charlie's teachers and they all had positive things to say. ALL of them. Here is a pure case of "you get what you pay for!" And how! Despite his rotten middle school experience and a seemingly all-school attempt to thwart him from getting into a school -- he did and he is thriving!

Open minds and hearts -- that's really all it takes. Then the rest just follows.

So now I have to let it all go. Forever. The past is the past and while it would be fun to bash those people into the ground (and truly, it would, I won't lie) I can take repeated deep breaths and know that my gut is always right.

Always.

Since everything happens for a reason, I keep trying to figure out exactly what the lesson has been in all of this. I didn't need to learn that the public school system was broken ... maybe it was just about having faith in myself and Charlie. Or keeping that in perspective: That while others might believe the opinion of others, there is never any reason that that opinion should become fact. Ever.

And to trust the sequence of events -- not try to control it. Charlie ended up at the school that he was supposed to, even if it didn't feel like it at the time. Both the ski coach and the theatre director want him next term; the former because he is anxious to have an Eastern skier on his team and the latter because he is thrilled to have someone with such a beautiful singing voice on his cast.

These are good "problems" to have, and while it is going to be very challenging for Charlie to take on both while at the same time upping his academic contributions to meet his potential, I have no doubt of his capability.

How exciting it is to be tapping into his endless source of talents and skills instead of constantly showcasing his shortcomings.

Life is, indeed, very good.

Happy Birthday Charlie! May your 14th year be the beginning of a very successful academic career.

Mind blown across the planet

OHMYGOD.

Like a stupid head I joined the Columbia DVD club a hundred years ago. Actually, I joined it three years ago when we bought a new blu-ray DVD player and there were very few places to rent them at the time.

So, like a super stupid head, I joined thinking I'd go in; get my freebies; buy my commitment's worth and get out, quick and dirty.

Yeah. Because I am super duper stupid head, I am stuck in this hell of a nightmare of a company that has it figured out beyond my wildest dreams.

The only way to cancel is to send a letter. But how do you prove that you sent a letter? Because, you see, they say they never get them. (I guess my next step is a certified letter; but come on, does it have to be this hard?)

So, despite my letters begging them to cancel, I am still a full-fledged member of the Columbia House DVD Club. Kill me now.

Last summer I missed the four-day window they give you to respond to their "director's selection" and therefore received the damn thing in the mail. For the minor cost of $25 I received a DVD that I not only didn't want, but could absolutely NOT do anything about. According to the directions (heaven forbid you ever try to speak to a human being, not going to happen) all you have to do if you don't want a selection, is to write "REFUSED" on it, and put it back in your mailbox. Then, they will accept it, but they won't refund your money. You see, there are NO REFUNDS!!!

Brilliant, huh?

So one of my more important jobs in life is making sure that I respond to the "Director's Selection" in a timely manner so I won't get any &()_#()@&%()#_$*()#P DVD's that I don't want in the mail. Makes my blood boil.

This particular method has been working just fine, when all of a sudden they have figured out how to get around me. They have rendered the "No Thanks, I do not want this selection or any other *()$#_*%()#_*$()#* of your goddamn *(%)_*#($)_*)#($ movies at this time" useless. Now, when I hit that link, it sends me to another box where I am supposed to sign in. Then, when I do so, it takes me directly to supposedly my account page, where it tells me that I don't owe anything. There is no way to navigate around this -- it always takes me back to the sign-in page. Bottom line? It won't let me say no.

So I decided to try to call them. This sends you to voice mail hell, and then they came up with a devious idea: Tell the person, after they have given their account number, to tell you what the 7-digit "directors selection number" is, which is located in the upper right hand corner of your card.

You see, I don't get a card. Oh, they know this. They have it all figured out. It is mind-boggling INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everything I do with the club is done online. They can "bill me" online, they can tell me, online, that they are sending me a selection that I don't want online, but I can't cancel online, tell them I don't want it online and since I don't get anything in the mail, I can't cancel in any other way.

Would this drive anyone else bonkers? Is it just me? Am I losing it? Am I typing like a mad woman about a diabolical company for no good reason?

Perhaps. ::::::deep breaths:::::::::

I just tried again. And here's the deal: They sent me on the 22nd a notice that I would receive my selection if I did not respond by the 25th. Their office isn't open after 6:00 p.m. and they do not take calls during weekends. AMAZING?

Is this not illegal????

I will have to do nothing tomorrow but prioritize making this call. And then who knows what will happen? There is no guarantee that I will get any help. I have received no response to my umpteen emails to their "customer service center." HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Better Business Bureau?

Cancel my credit card?

Hire a lawyer????

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.

Feeling gaseous

For the past few weeks, the price of gas has been significantly cheaper in the town of Tilton, which is about half an hour away from my baseline view of gas prices. The gas station about two miles from my house was at one point 15 cents more than the gas cost in Tilton. How weird is that? I also noticed that the majority of gas stations in and around Tilton were all within about five cents of each other, whereas the gas stations in my own immediate area were on the penny (and much higher.)

So, I wondered, do they price gas according to the socio-economic landscape of a community? That was my best guess for a few weeks, as I continued to monitor it and saw very little change in the great price divide.

Then I started to notice the divide grow smaller. Hmmm, I wondered, why is this? The price difference was so vast that I was filling up our fleet of cars exclusively in the "cheap" zone. Then one day I wasn't going to make it to Tilton on the amount of gas left in the car by dear daughter Maddie, so I had to buy it ::::gasp:::: at the pricey pump. Except that it really wasn't that much of a difference. Maybe five cents. Hmmmm. Hmmmmmm.

This morning the price of gas flipped! It was $2.47 in Tilton, and my local pump was offering it up for $2.43. Now seriously, what the hell? How exactly IS gas priced? Two weeks ago it was $2.26 in Tilton and $2.57 locally. Talk about fickle.

First off, the price of gas is rising because consumer demand has fallen. Isn't that the opposite of how it is supposed to work? Is the whole supply/demand foundation of economics not applied to the price of gasoline? It would seem not. According to "most energy experts," (which in my opinion falls into the same category as "9 out of 10 dentists") they see no fundamental reason for rising prices and doubt that prices will spike to the record $4.11 that they did last summer. (Which last summer? I don't remember prices being that high in the closest summer I can recall of a few months ago?????) Hey, they are the experts ... (further investigation reveals that the experts are referring to 2008 gas prices. Further investigation BEYOND the article I was reading, I must add, snarkily.)

Now we are going to get all newsy:

The U.S. consumes about 20 million barrels of oil products per day, half of which is used for motor gasoline. So, 10 million barrels roll out (I couldn't resist) into the world purely for the use of getting us from here to there. Each barrel of oil contains 42 gallons which yields 19 to 20 gallons of gasoline. (??????) Good heavens. How much do I want to know? Well, let us continue with this branch of discussion. So that means that there is something like 178 million gallons of gasoline consumed daily. Not hard to imagine if you've ever sat in traffic in California or Chicago with cars as far as the eye can see four to five lanes deep.

Typically in the summer there is more demand for gas because people go on vacation. This makes sense, and the price of gas goes up. Again, mean, but it makes sense! But ... prices do not ALWAYS go up in the summer. Prices beyond the summer can continue to rise due to certain circumstances, such as Hurricane Katrina, which pushed prices up to $3.07 a gallon in September, 2005.

Prices rose to the record high of $4.00 in the summer of 2008, which encouraged people to drive less, which in turn drove down demand, and subsequently, prices. (So the supply/demand theory was in play in the summer of 2008.) But then ... things changed.

Prices increase when the world crude oil market tightens and lowers inventories, which is what is happening now. And to understand that, we need to know where the money goes. Are you ready?

When you pump $30 (if you are lucky, all you non-SUV drivers) into your tank, that money is broken up and goes to many places. (So stop thinking the gas station owner is getting rich!) There is a supply chain and several groups who are responsible for setting prices. The media (blast them again!) can lead you to believe that it is the price of crude oil that sets pump costs, but it's not that simple. Here is an approximation of where each dollar you spend on gas goes:

Taxes: 11 cents

Distribution and Marketing: 6 cents

Refining: 10 cents

Crude oil Suppliers: 73 cents.

And of course the gas station, though that is sort of all over the map (which explains the fluctuations in prices that you see from town to town.) And while it feels natural to blame the gas station owner's, they typically only add on a few cents per gallon, and while there is no set standard for them in terms of what they can charge, many states have mark-up laws which prohibit stations from charging more than a certain percentage over invoice from the wholesaler. These laws are designed to protect small privately owned stations from being driven out of business by large chains that can afford to cut prices at select locations.

Other reasons for cost fluctuations include distance from refineries; world events; war; weather and prices also vary between states because of different tax impositions. And a new reason emerged in 2007 when Washington legislated to incorporate more ethanol into transportation fuels.

And let's not forget OPEC -- the Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Companies, which is a consortium of 13 countries: Algeria; Angola; Ecuador; Indonesia; Iran; Iraq; Kuwait; Libya; Nigeria; Qatar; Saudi Arabia; the United Arab Emirates and Venezuela. Together they are responsible for 40 percent of the world's oil production and hold the majority of the world's oil reserves. When OPEC wants to raise the price of crude oil, it simply reduces production, which then causes gasoline prices to jump because of the short supply (but then again because of the threat of possible future reductions). When oil production dips, gas companies get nervous. So the mere threat of oil reductions can raise gas prices.

Beyond OPEC there are several other countries that contribute to the world's crude oil supplies, including the U.S., Mexico, Canada, Equatorial Guinea, Russia and China. OPEC tracks the oil production of these nations and then adjusts it own production to maintain its desired barrel price.

Is this getting boring? LOL.

What it comes down to is that there are NUMEROUS forces that affect the price of gas at the pump, but this week there is no strange weather and no new war, so I guess we have to train our gaze at OPEC. Prices were perhaps getting too low?

But it's still more complicated than that. The U.S. is the third largest producer of crude oil, and yet we are still heavily dependent upon foreign oil. And then there's that oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. To drill or not to drill, that is yet another question.

So while I don't feel I've answered my own question of why the price of gas is all over the map; in a way I understand that it's not a question easily answered. It might make more sense to just accept it. Like the two-year-old question of "Mommy, why is the sky blue?"

To which you respond, "it just is."