I don't mean to diss Christmas. I really don't. I have the largest christmas tree the living room can take; there are decorations all over, lights and a wreath on the front door. I get into the holiday, I really do. And I also get excited at trying to get the perfect gift for everyone. But I am seriously running out of ideas, and my mother made a comment recently that made me think. She said, I think you've done it all.
I've spray painted a box to look like the Tower of London when Hallie was going to London and our big gift to her that year was money. I hung it, chandelier-like from the inside of the tower, and wrapped it, a big gift. A very big gift. I've created treasure hunts for big ticket items like the Gator; I've filled an enormous box with rocks and then taped the small gift (an iPod) to the top of the box -- so the receiver would understand that it was a BIG gift! (And of course, half of it for my kids has always been about the wrapped boxes the weeks before Christmas. The "I have better presents and MORE presents than you." I have come up with little devious plans like a number system (instead of names on the packages.) Though last year I forgot which was which! Ooops! I would listen to them talk. Maddie would say if Hallie is one, then I must be two, and Charlie would be three. But if I was trying to be tricky, then Charlie would be one and Hallie would be three, but Maddie would always be two. (She was right!) This year I put their names on their packages, but once the grumbling started, the pointing out of inequities in number of boxes and sizes, I told them that I switched names this year. So Maddie could be Charlie, or Hallie could be Maddie or ... well, you get the gist.
This is a total lie. Their actual names are on the boxes, but the doubt has already been formed. Maddie told me this morning, while perusing the rather small array of packages, that I am just cruel.
I seem to be a little behind this year (though the house is clean, decorated and my food shopping is all done.) But I have very little for stockings, and that is usually the one thing I enjoy shopping for. The stumbling across perfect little items to tuck into the stocking, something small, not always cheap, to go along with the filler of candy. I usually stock up on the candy end of things at Target, so I hit that yesterday. The place was wiped out. There were so many shelves that were empty, and the Christmas candy aisles were threadbare. I was a little taken aback, and so I stood there for a moment, observing. There were people pushing carts aimlessly, in search of something to put into them. There was very little joy to behold. For this Christmas shopping to fill stockings and provide presents is NOT a joyful event. It just isn't.
I was in the mens section, looking, looking, looking for SOMEthing. Anything. There was this display of Christmas boxer shorts, so I went to look. There were about 11 boxes of Small, triple packed underwear sets. They had lights, or reindeer. They were cute. Overpriced. And Small. Oh, wait, I found a XXL box. Oh well.
I then wandered across the aisle and looked at tights. All of the Mediums were gone. There were lots and lots and lots of Smalls. Oh, and a few XL's. I hope the retailers are taking stock of this. There aren't that many small people out there anymore! Then I glanced over and saw people looking at the men's Christmas underwear. Like me, they examined each box, only to discover they were all Small. And I saw them get excited when they spotted the XXL, then took it out of the box (like I had done with both the small and those) only to discover that XXL is like ridiculously large. And ditto on the smalls. I almost told the next person. But isn't that what we were all there for? The hunt? For one small moment there was hope that you could fill a stocking with some overpriced kitschy underwear for your loved one. Then it was over, and you moved on. Ho ho ho.
Peter likes smarties in his stocking. There was only ONE package of smarties. One. I didn't even realize that smarties were traditional holiday fare! My biggest thing this year is not to buy something for the sake of buying something. And for the most part, I have done this. I looked at some small flashlight for a few minutes, before putting it back with the knowledge that I have purchased Peter countless flashlights over the years to fill his stocking. We like never lose power. We don't go camping that often. Our current cache of flashlight greatly exceeds our needs! He doesn't need a flashlight. He doesn't really NEED anything. What a lovely problem to have. Right?
Sigh. I always go through the same thing, this time of year, every year. There is not enough. Not enough. But not enough what? Enough stuff that no one really needs? How did we get caught up in this? I don't remember, as a kid, that the quantity meant as much as the quality -- or what you wanted. The hardest thing for my kids is coming up with wants. Bravo to us, as parents, for providing them with their every want and need. But it leaves a bit of a void for Christmas shopping!
One other thing I did not do this year is shop very much. I usually go out with friends a couple of times, with my sister. But this year I have hardly done that at all. Maybe it is a good thing that I am finally accepting what I keep saying: they don't NEED anything, and there is no point in buying to provide things under the tree. In my mind I am always saying that. I am always saying that to them too. But I still have that need to try to outdo myself. I think that is too hard, at this point!
The bottom line is, it will be all over soon, regardless of what is purchased. It is one day, a blip on the calendar, and yet we give it so much importance. To what end, I ask? To what end?
I just don't know. I am still working it out!
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