Beckoning journey

This morning I was driving home in the bright sunshine with my hair blowing all over the place (in the open Jeep) after completing one of my obligations at my CSA (Community Shared Agriculture), which means I pay a sum for a share of a garden, and then I work in the garden to help pay off that share as well.  My obligation today consisted of cutting flowers and then later, kale.

After we were done with that, my friend and I went to breakfast.  The weather was perfect -- sunny and yet breezy with big chunky clouds floating by in the sky.  Just one of those days you are happy to be alive.  But I was even happier, as I drove along, to not be working.  It was quite difficult getting up at 7:00 this morning, I must admit!  The kids and I have become quite lazy these past few weeks, getting up late and going to bed even later.  To me, it is what summer is all about, and I love being able to go to bed and see that Charlie is watching TV and NOT having to say to him you have to go to sleep now.  Because who cares!  No one has to get up for anything, just do what you want to do.  That freedom is really the primary focus of summer and why I have never pushed my kids to get jobs.  (Though they do, because as those things work, if I WAS pushing them, they would be adverse.  But since I don't really care whether or not you have a job unless you are 16 and can get yourself there, they seem to crave them, go figure!)

Anyway, I was just filled with sheer and total joy this morning that I do not work.  And this from someone who loved to work.  And yet, having to get up this morning reminded me how much I hate obligation of any kind right now!  Freedom baby, it's all I want.

There is this workshop on advanced shamanism that popped up in my inbox yesterday.  I would say out of all the things I have been drawn to -- shamanism feels right.  In addition to being a lazy bones about getting up in the morning, I have also fallen off my daily angel card readings and shaman journeying.  I was even given HUGE signs a few weeks ago, with first a big bear running across my path followed by a large blue heron squawking above my head moments later.  My dense brain didn't pick up the connection (or the actual shove the universe or whatever you want to call it was giving me) until the heron went by.  I mean, hello.  Both of my power animals in all their glory, moments apart.  No such thing as by accident there.  OK.  I got it.  But then again, did I?

It changed my mood, but didn't shove me back into a journey.  The last shamanic journey I took, my teacher within the upper world told me I needed to do more -- needed to make it a more regular practice.  Me being me, once I am told to do something, I tend to back off!  (Not to mention the whole thing freaks me out just a little bit, and I suppose if backing off is necessary, then so be it.)

So yesterday for no reason other than I thought it had been awhile, I did an angel card reading.  Normally when I do this, one card will show itself, maybe two.  This time six cards jumped out at me, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.  I even intuitively knew which one to turn over when, and they were all over my desk.  I have a tendency to draw the same cards, but this time they were ALL new cards.  All new messages I'd never been given before.  And so amazingly dead on I got chills.  I even found myself talking to "the angels" or in my case the silent air around me, because I was so blown away.  I ended up requesting information for the shamanic two-week intensive workshop.  And today in my inbox, the information was there.

I read through it and then came to the cost of the program.  Hmmmm.  The doubts, the recriminations, the whole this is such a waste of time and we don't really have the money with two kids in school to be throwing away on mommy playing workshop get-away came flooding in, and I stopped myself and went for the cards. When I drew the Workshops and Seminars card, well I am sorry, but wouldn't YOU be a bit freaked out?  This is a large deck of cards.  The card reads:  Attending and giving speeches is part of your spiritual path and purpose.  Be open to teaching and learning.

There is no way to explain how emotional that made me feel.

  "You are also guided to attend workshops to further your spiritual path and education.  Enroll in classes that you feel drawn to, and ask Archangel Raphael to support everything in this endeavor, including tuition fees, transportation, lodging, time off from work, babysitting arrangements and so on.  The way is clear for you to give and receive through the workshop process.  Enjoy."

Alrighty then.